I may have mentioned this before, but I am currently involved in a very intimate relationship to a woman who means a great deal to me. Unfortunately, we live 1300 miles apart, and for those of you who have ever attempted a "long-distance" romance you know at once what difficulties and obstacles lie in your path, on a daily basis. In addition to my alcoholism, both of us lead incredibly busy, very stressful lives--a stress I used to numb by drinking into complete dysfunction. And although overjoyed I've gone to detox and have stopped drinking, my girlfriend has so many items on her plate she's finding less and less time for me, or us, and last night openly questioned if we could "make it." I've thought the same thing myself, many, many times.
But here's the big difference. We, as a couple, have fallen on some hard times. BUT, so different from just a few weeks ago, I'm not going to feel sorry for myself and get drunk over it. I don't even look at grabbing a bottle to drown my sorrows as a viable alternative. What happens in my future happens; I can only control what I can control. And that's taking care of me and myself. . .one day at a time.
Patience. . .was never one of my strong suits. Well, I've got no choice in this matter: Either I approach this with patience, or I lose it. Simple as that. Who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks? Peace,
Hey Mike. You just dont know, how closely I identify with you right now, and Im not going into it.:)
Some days Ide like to say "Screw it" (its the easier softer way) cause we want it "Now" ...Well-sometimes it just doesnt happen, on our "Nows" "Time takes time" and it isnt all about "US"
But yu know Buddy. "Something good in life..... is worth waiting for, and yes-- Patience is a real big one.
Never, ever, ever ask (pray) for "patience" (or tolerance for that matter) Cause you're sure as shit gonna get what you ask for!
Daily life is difficult, I never know what tomorrow will bring, but there are 2 things I know for sure, drinking will not help anything and if I don't drink, I won't get drunk!
Keep your chin up. You're doing great!
Love and hugs
Doll
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* We eventually realize that just as the pains of alcoholism had to come before sobriety, emotional turmoil comes before serenity. *
As a matter of fact, Phil, I do very much remember the Tammy Wynette song. As I told my significant other last night, "Anything worth having is worth waiting for." I do firmly believe that. The waiting, the long distance, the anxiety, the uncertainty: all, to me, are tests to determine if the relationship is meant to be. And I would much rather find out in the coming months if it was not meant to be then find out after we eventually got together for good. . .
Baby steps, staying busy, staying focused, helping others. . .that's what I've been up to.
And Doll, thanks for the encouragement! Hmmm. . .praying for patience and tolerance. . .that ought to evoke numerous thunderbolts from Heaven. . .
