Stuck in writing inventory, lots of mess at professional front as well - standoff with boss- have a meeting on 5th and 6th may with senior management to sort out issues. This may/may not go against me. I need ur prayers and hopes for that.
I just cancelled a 10 day leave I had planned for going into remote mountains, and relieving the stress- I did it because i was sure I will end up drinking there- booze was on my head in some remote corner, waiting only to explode..
My dad fell down when drunk at home, and his hip joint got dislocated. He was in pain for three days but never said a word. I was feeling restless about his fall and asking him twice-thrice to go to a doc- but he being every adamant refused.Since he had these 'small' things before, none really bothered at home. 3rd day, he called me and said he needs a doc, so went to a doc and found the diagnosis- closed operation was performed. Now he's back home, bed rest for 2 weeks, before docs move him and see if he can walk properly.
I also feel guilty about Dad's fall, coz when he was stumbling beore getting the final fall- I was half awake- I could have ran and 'perhaps' caught him in time. I donot recall well, but there's a nagging feeling that i could have helped but, .....but I didn't!
Good part is during all these crisis situations I didn't and still am not drinking- the thought comes sometimes but I brush it off by concentrating on today.
Please have me and dad in ur thoughts and prayers- we need you.
Nisha
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The most practical, beautiful, workable philosophy won't work- if you won't.
Sounds like you are making it one day at a time. Keep working the steps and one day you wont have the burden of making yourself not drink. You wont even think about it much.
Hang in there Nisha, you doing it. Don't beat yourself up about your Dad's fall. We all have consequences of our drinking. It takes all of them for us to finally get sick of being sick. Perhaps you father is close to wanting a solution.
Hey Nisha Sorry to hear about your dad. Hope hes getting better! Sounds like alot is going on but you are handling things beautifully! Its easier to deal with all of life's challenges when were sober, dont you think! Keep us updated and my prayers are with you! Lani
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"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
I'm glad you're here, Nisha & you're doing a great job. Don't feel guilty around your Dad's fall. Even if you'd have been there a further accident could have been worse for either of you. Any of these things can happen. He may have been too heavy for you or still fallen awkwardly & he is responsible for himself too. It's natural for you to have wanted to do more for him but you are still sober today & that's amazing. Keep hanging in there. You're both in my thoughts & prayers too & you have your Higher Power with you. Everything will be ok. You're not alone. Wishing for the best outcome in regards to work. Danielle x
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Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!
Its a reassuring feeling to have thoughts of all of you with me.I have accepted that 'saving' dad was not really in my hand. May be this incident in itself is a sign, of how we should be more careful in life, and take stock of ourselves.Certainly with this crisis at home, all of us, family members have managed to inch closer to each other. The day Dad was hospitalised I was very lost, not knowing or having confidence of how I would handle it, but I did it well, while being sobre. I am sure sobriety has helped me find ways out of the crisis- though my family is not saying so, I am sure they are grateful for the 'break' of alcohol binging in their lives.I am not pressuring my head and soul into 'trying to control things which I know I cannot'..I am waiting for the work meeting with the same dedication and sincerity as I am towards my life AT THE MOMENT. TODAY I have the courage to accept changes in life even if they may seem negative and heart breaking for the moment- I know changes have happenned for the best and I have my Higher Power over me. Staying sobre is in 'my' control and I am glad to be exercising it today.
Nisha
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The most practical, beautiful, workable philosophy won't work- if you won't.
