That's what I'm screaming at my brain and want to scream at everyone around me!
Good Lord, it's been a rough month. Starting with the tornado that took part of my roof to losing my best friends mother!
The roof has finally been taken care of and looks its awesome. So I decided to go ahead and get the house vinyl sided. Got 3 estimates, they were all within $100 of each other so went with a guy I've known for 20 yrs. What a disaster! It took them 7 days and my house looks like a drunken, retarded monkey put this crap up!!! (see pix at bottom). My yard is a mess. Everything from nails to paint chips to hamburger wrappers. They neglected to rehang my back porch light and where the hell my motion lights are I have no clue, just wires sticking out of the back side of the house! The panels were pieced together and most of it looks like it's running down hill! The only good news is I have not paid for it yet. And will NOT until this is done to my satisfaction.
Had a car wreck. Young yuppy wanna be crossed over stopped traffic into MY turn right only lane and I nailed him. $3000 damage to my car, 2 ER trips and 1 trip to my doctor. As most of you know I have DDD and jolt to my body can wreak havoc. I now have Sciatica and have been put on bedrest for a week. Having no luck in getting back in touch with the guys insurance people. They took care of the car, but seem to be ignoring the medical! Ended up having to call a lawyer! I was beginning to learn to live with the pain, enjoying the good days and accepting the painful ones, now that 's all shot to hell. I gotta start over! I have not been pain free since the wreck!
My John has been working a shut down for the past 6 weeks (6 days a week, 14 hours a day) so I have rarely seen him. The shutdown ends today and I was looking forward to spending some much needed time with him, he called last night to say he's going 'home' for a few days to see his family! ARRRGGHHH! I know, I know I shouldn't be disapointed but I am! Can't help it. With all the 'things' I've been going through I could really use some time with him. I suppose I want him to 'comfort' me. My expectations of our relationship continue to let me down. I'm still working on it!
My nephew who is 21 and lives with my parents got arrested, not once, but TWICE in 3 weeks for marijuana. My father has continued to enable this "kid" by bailing him out of jail. They don't understand they're not helping him at all. They wish to blame his 'friends' and his mother for the troubles. I had to bite my tongue, I wanted to tell my mother if that were the case then I could easily blame my alcoholism on her! I didn't say it, but I reaaaalllllly wanted to, to try to make a point that she might could understand.
The memorial service for my best friends mom was Tuesday and it was WEIRD to say the least. She had donated her body to science so no viewing, no burial, etc. I guess that's why I don't feel any 'closure'. I realize it's not about me at all, but I loved this woman deeply and feel like I've missed something .
Next! My job is been more of a nightmare than usual. With gas prices so high our volume has declined (I work for UPS) and maybe it's my own paranoia but I have been 'called to the carpet' a couple times over the last few weeks having to explain why I did something the way I did it (I feel legitimate in doing what I've done). I feel like there's a target on my back. I'm praying it's my own paranoia. As much as I LOATHE that job, I NEED that job!
And last...Sold my business, I think! A lady made an offer and I accepted it. Waiting on the inspection report to come back and the certainty that this sale will happen before I told my employees. I saw no reason to scare anyone needlessly. Got a call from one of my 'girls' yesterday, the potential buyer had called her and told her that she was going to be the new owner, wanted to know if someone there would be interested in managing, etc. Now, my employees are FREAKING the Frig out!!! They feel like I've deceived them! I have not. I wanted to make that whoever bought the place wanted to keep them on (if they wanted to stay) and make sure it was done deal before making the announcement. NOW, I'm terrified the sale will not go through for whatever reason and my employees, feeling betrayed, will quit!
The good news, the only thing that's the end of the world is the end of the world! I have not wanted to drink over any of this! And I've come to realize that God doesn't necessarily take away all my character defects, but thru AA I'm learning how to deal with them and accept them as life on life's terms.
Ya'll get to a meeting today, OK? And don't drink, no matter what!
Hi Doll Well the great thing is you got to vent but at the end of it all what you said is exactly right!!!!! Its not the end of the world and most importantly, you didnt drink and are learning to handle the blows of life! Great job! I'll keep you in my prayers cuz it sounds like you need it!!!
I agree....Bunch of drunken moneys!!!!!! yikes!!!!!
Thanks for sharing! Sure puts things in perspective for me today!!!!
Love, Lani
__________________
"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
WOW, Doll!!!! You are sailing on a SEA of STORMS right now. Easy Does It is not the right thing for me to say here, I guess... I would definitely make a list, and take pictures of EVERYTHING... then sit down with your scrapbook of siding failures with the lead guy on the job, and make him understand fully that there will be NO PAYMENT until everything is addressed and taken care of.
As to the boyfrined and his work schedule, my husband works like that (but 7 days) EVERY SINGLE WEEK. Yup. I have to be grateful that he has a job right now, with the way the economy is. It sucks, but it is a true blessing that he is gainfully employed. So you might want to take a second look at the boyfriend's situation and see the silver lining.
Your pendulum is swinging wide right now, and yes, I hope you do get to a meeting. Get another AA to hop on that pendulum with you and take a swing, and maybe the thing will slow down a bit!
Love you bunches, and praying for a big CALM to come heading your way.
__________________
~~"It's hard to be hateful when you're grateful."~~
.
