The goal of recovery is balance - that precious middle ground.
Many of us have gone from one extreme to another: years of taking care of everyone but ourselves, followed by a time of refusing to focus on anyone's needs but our own.
We may have spent years refusing to identify, feel, and deal with our feelings, followed by a period of absolute obsession with every trace of emotional energy that passes through our body.
We may succumb to powerlessness, helplessness, and victimization, then we swing to the other extreme by aggressively wielding power over those around us.
We can learn to give to others while taking responsibility for ourselves. We can learn to take care of our feelings, as well as our physical, mental, and spiritual needs. We can nurture the quiet confidence of owning our power as equals in our relationships with others.
The goal of recovery is balance, but sometimes we get there by going to extremes. Today, I will be gentle with myself, understanding that sometimes to reach the middle ground of balance, I need to explore the peaks and valleys. Sometimes, the only way I can extricate myself from a valley is to jump high enough to land on a peak, and then slowly ease myself down.
From The Language of Letting Go
__________________
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
My sponsor always says that we are like a pendulum. When we have swung all the way to one side for so many years, sometimes we have to swing all the way to the other before we can begin to find the middle ground, the balance.
This has been so true for me. Years ago I care-took so severely, and then when I started to find recovery from codependency, I began to literally REFUSE to even try to help someone else, which was not good at all. I became even more selfish and self-centered, with the excuse that I had to "take care of me first". That is no way to have relationships, and I did not find myself having many during that time (which may have been a good thing!).
I am so glad that there EXISTS a middle ground to shoot for in life. While we may never hit the mark exactly, we can come close at times to balance, and that feels great.
Joni
__________________
~~"It's hard to be hateful when you're grateful."~~
