When we don't ask for what we want and need, we discount ourselves. We deserve better.
Maybe others taught us it wasn't polite or appropriate to speak up for ourselves. The truth is, if we don't, our unmet wants and needs may ultimately come back to haunt our relationships. We may end up feeling angry or resentful, or we may begin to punish someone else for not guessing what we need. We may end the relationship because it doesn't meet our needs.
Intimacy and closeness are only possible in a relationship when both people can say what they want and need. Sustained intimacy demands this.
Sometimes, we may even have to demand what we want. That's called setting a boundary. We do this not to control another person, but to gain control of our life.
Our attitude toward our needs is important too. We must value them and take them seriously if we expect others to take us seriously. When we begin to place value and importance on our needs we'll see a remarkable change. Our wants and needs will begin to get met.
Today, I will respect the wants and needs of others and myself. I will tell others, my Higher Power, and myself what I want and need. I will listen to what they want and need too.
From The Language of Letting Go
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
Let me first thank you tremendously for posting these exerpts from Language of Letting Go. It is a book I have somehow "lost" and have not been reading for a few years, and I really must locate it or get myself a new copy of, because it is truly good medicine for this Alcoholic.
I have found that in every relationship I have, especially my marriage, I "TEACH" people how to treat me, in adulthood. I do this often by carrying over from childhood the things that are mentioned in the passgae, like the idea that my needs are not important. While I have improved tremendously, there is still much work to be done in improving the lines of communication and gently but firmly asking for what I need.
In addition, I need to continue to DO that which I CAN do for myself, instead of often relying on someone else, and therby feeling cheated when they don't always come through for me.
I came into recovery with a childlike view of relationships, and have been working for years to become a functioning adult in my associations with those around me. Thanks for adding these meditations so that I can make them a part of my daily growth.
Joni
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~~"It's hard to be hateful when you're grateful."~~
I read this meditation book......found it when I worked at a treatment ctr & it has been a God sent. I also love the meditation book called "Courage to Change".
Sharing feelings and listening is very important. I recently I guess finally heard what my bf had or was trying to say, but he doesn't communicate well, but he is trying.
In the past he always had to have a woman to be a drinking buddy or one just moved in and he couldnt get rid of her and now he is suffering the consquences of him not speaking up. As for us, I'm not sure what will transpire but all I know from my end is that I will continue to support him on what he needs but I also will keep God at my centre/core.
Living to be of maximum service to God and those about us!
God Bless!
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once upon a time I was human being having spiritual experiences to now I'm a spiritual being having human experiences.
