I have been away for awhile and was away from the booze for awhile.I have started to drink again and now I am drinking hard stuff instead of beer.I am feeling pressured in my personal life and I think that is the reason for my relapse.When I was drinking beer,I was just drinking beer.Now that I am drinking liquor everyone I pour I see my father ,whos drinking I HATE.
I did have a break through last week though,while drink I was chatting with a friend on line and think I know now why I drink other than both parents being drinkers.I am made at my mom for dying and leaving me 19 years ago
LOL-- yeah somehow the switch from the hard stuff to beer sorta makes us feel less of an alkie, even if we're drinkin a case and a half atta time... then when we go back to the hard shit we feel like we really took a step back in the wrong direction...Gotta love alcoholic logic.
Anyways, im sorry for your relapse-- Far be it from me to offer advice (im just about as sick as they come, and very far from being recovered), but i suspect that the reasons that you drink are probably a little more complicated and a little more involved than the mere fact that your mom died and left you. Again, as i said, i dont know that much about the program, but I am a pretty decent student of human psychology imho (my own included), and I definitely think theres probably a bit more to work through than just that.
I would say you oughta (yes, im about to offer the same goddam advice that everyone offers) go to a meeting, share if you can, listen, maybe talk to someone and just try to articulate something, and see what comes out. You may be surprised what you learn...I am fairly certain that a prerequisite to getting better is getting to know yourself inside out-- so you oughta talk some stuff out comprehensively rather than over simplifying, imho... Just my 2 cents...Go to a meeting plz...
-- Edited by Zarathustra at 00:07, 2007-12-04
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The only thing worse than being sober is being drunk...
Keep up with my alleged 'progress' and general rantings, or just laugh at me, if you want: http://diaryofamadman11.blogspot.com
Try not to beat yourself up about drinking again, it's happened but you did the right thing in coming back. I have been right where you are now.
When I started back on the booze I would only drink wine as I tried to pretend that I couldn't be an alcoholic if I wasn't drinking the hard stuff. But, at the end of my drinking I would have drunk anything.
Try going back to AA meetings and taking it from there. I know that I couldn't stay sober with my meetings. It's good for me to be around other alcoholics and to remind myself that I'm not on my own.
Hang in there and it will get better.
Please keep posting and letting us know how it goes for you, won't you?
Take care,
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
Welcome back to MIP, Tim. I looked up your previous posts & you were here last year weren't you! I'm glad you've come back. Really nice to meet you. Maybe we can compare a few more notes now & see how you're getting on. You were reading the BB some & identifying with other members shares. Can you take any of that further & let us know where you're at? I'm sorry you've been suffering with unresolved thoughts & feelings. Attending meetings & studying recovery litrature will help you learn more about yourself & learn how to work a program for yourself 1Day@aTime. It can be such a change to what you're used to but it's really helped me to put down & leave down the drink so that I can get on with other things i.e like the small matter of living! I hope coming here & sharing where you're upto helps to bring you some happiness. Fellowship here is wonderful & I hope you find the same in F2F meets too. Good luck, Tim. Wishing you many prayers & blessings for recovery, Danielle :)
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Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!
Welcome Tim, Youre in the right place my friend. Keep coming back.Lani
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"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
I want to thank everbody for all their well wishes.I was doing good for about a year and then relapsed.I think that is why I stayed away,ya know I am fine I don't need that now.Boy was I wrong.I am entering counselling next week for my issues and hopefull my drinking will come up.I never went to meetings ,though I should have.I just have this feeling of guilt and what if somebody sees me.I know they are all excuses and I have to get over that.
I know the definition for an alcholic has changed(i think).To me it is anybody that drinks everyday.I have been told I am not because it doesn't interfere with life.I dont miss work because of it but I drink almost everday to me that is a problem.I can go periods with out drinking and I am told well you are ok but then bang look out.To me that is a problem ,I know i have it and always will.I wish I could be like most people have 1 or 2 then say nahh I am good.To quote one of my heros(all though not a good one) Nikki Sixx " I cant have that one drink it is going to lead to 2 then I am crashing your car ".I wish I could only have one
sorry if this is all over the place but some times I ramble type
again thanks for all the well wishes and I hope I can recover again
