I cant lie, I have been to my first meeting tonight in 4 years but I am sat here pisssed as a fart. Got home intime to go bank and shop and alla the way my attitude was that if the shop open then its telling me something and it was open. Please I need help.
It's exactly how the alcoholic mind works. Remember one of the early stories in the Big Book of the guy who thought that he could have just one drink if he mixed it with some milk while he was having lunch at a place that served booze?
Years ago, when I first started going to meetings, there were a couple of times where I went to the meeting sober, but ended up not making it past the pub on my way home. Don't give up. Get to the next meeting....and the next, and the next, and the next. Listen hard when you are there.
And keep coming back.
PS. When I first quit drinking, the cravings were a lot stronger at first, because my brain had become quite accustomed to the amount of alcohol it was receiving, and didn't take particularly kindly to being cut of suddenly, so it kept sending me messages, like, "Just a couple won't hurt! Come on now! Come on, come on! And besides, since the only parking spot on the street is in front of the pub instead the grocery, fate must have intended for you to go in there and FEEEEEEEED ME!"
-- Edited by Sick of being sick at 20:49, 2007-12-02
"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
I hope you're feeling better today, Kaz. It can be a slippery slope back in our beginnings but your defences will come. All that good thinking you had for awhile may be askew for the moment but that'll pass. Attend your meetings & rebuild your defences. All this will have served a good purpose when you're back in the saddle. Let today's mistakes pass & wake up each day with a fresh chance. You'll be just fine. Fellowship for you here, Danielle x
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Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!
This is where a sponsor might come in handy, or perhaps some sober friends to hang out with. Best of luck.
and you typically (not that alcoholics are typical lol) call these people when the urge to drink occurs and they'll tell you how wonderful you are, and you won't feel like drinking.
Thanks for your kind words everybody. I have now been sober for 10 days today and feeling a lot better than I have done for years. Been going to different meetings and met lots of wonderful people. The lady that 12 stepped me and took me to my first meeting phones me every day to see how I am doing. Life is looking up. Looking forward to a sober christmas with my son and my friend who has just started coming to meetings with me last night and decided that she too has a problem.
sounds good, except my sponsors always had me call them and I'm sure yours would appreciate that also. When I sponsor people (it's been a long time since I've sponsored anyone with less then a few years) I might call them a couple times but after that it's their recovery not mine. It's nice that your freind is going but be aware that, traveling together, the one person's stinking thinking ("let's go have a drink") can cause both of you to go out.
My sponsor told me yesterday of a newer statistic, 1 in 39 that attends an AA meeting for the first time, will stay sober. I ask myself "what makes my program and attitude better than the 38 that have to leave so that I can get the gift of sobriety?"
