Hi, not posted for ages went to rehad october last year and struggled afterwards. Last drink 5th March this year so just over 6 months ago. Everything been fine for the first 3 or 4 months on a high at being clean (also had drug problems but mainly alcohol) Have had a problem with over the counter pills!! have used them in the past to get me through. You know swopping one addiction for the other. Anyway things are bad right now keep thinking about a drink. The main thing is I have 2 beautiful children to look after one is 5 today !! and the othe is 3 - one boy and one girl. Do I need to go to AA or NA or both?? have been to NA and they are great but find the AA people more real. The truth is and this is hard to say I find it VERY hard to speak from the heart at meetings I always 'talk the talk' who is the real me???? I am studying psychology at the moment and it just makes me more confused. WHY??? neither my mother or father were alcoholics and my sister is mad but stable (she likes a drink and drug but leads a normal life) NOT LIKE ME. I dont know what I am trying to say guess I AM LONELY and confused. Anyway enough any help??? someone to talk to would be a help.
I'm gonna say what I used to hate to hear, that "you're right where you're supposed to be" at 6 months. This is a critical time for you in recovery though, as you really need to focus on making it a year (one day at a time).
From your comments, it doesn't sound like you're attending meetings regularly? Are you using a sponsor? I know it must be tuff with two young ones, my son was 2yo when I finally got sober. I struggled for 2 years until I surrendered to the program and did all that was suggested. I don't think that I missed a meeting in the first 3 years. After I heard someone say "if you can spend several hours a day drinking, you can get to a meeting for 1 hour". Making friends in the meetings will take care of the loneliness. I'd ease up on the psychology, that science hasn't proven very affective with the treatment of substance abuse especially the self administered kind LOL. We've probably all tried that, under the guise of modifying our drinking/drug use etc...
My homegroup has a lot of cross addicted, they say they prefer AA over NA, for many reasons. Why not check them both out, go to several of each meetings, then decide if you need one or the other or both.
You've stayed clean without meetings is how I read your post. That's awesome. But it's always a good idea to have a back up plan.
I know of people who stay sober/clean via church, religion, spirit guides, holostic meds, acupunture, you name it.....There's a million resources out there. Please try one, or all, till you find what works for you.
God bless you, Hun. And those babies.
It will pass....."Just don't drink/use. Even is your ass falls off"
Thank you for sharing (((((hugs))))
-- Edited by Doll at 20:23, 2007-09-07
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
Personally, I have found a lot more long-term recovery and stability in the rooms of AA (I am cross addicted too). 6 months is a critical point.
I was the great analyst for years in my recovery, always needing to know 'why'. My sponsor kept reminding me over and over that it wasn't important 'why', but what am I going to do about it at this moment?
He was so right.
Analyzing is my sick mind's way of detracting from what I need to be doing at the moment.
It does take time for those urges to go away. I can't tell you how long it took for me, but at some point they did subside.
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"There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguements and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance-that principle is contempt prior to investigation."
~Herbert Spencer
No pain, no gain. What you are feeling, all of have felt at the stage you are at. The last thing you said is the answer to your situation. You need someone to talk to. A real live female individual with years of living the life and who will tell you, not always what you want to hear but, need to hear. Don't matter what kind of meeting you go to, just get to the next onr then, the next one after that. Keep on strokin', 'cause if you don't, you'll liable to sink!
