Hi all. This is my first time on line w/ u all, so be patient with me. I found this web site and was hoping it was a 24 hour type thing where I could chat with someone when the urge took over. Maybe it is and I just dont know how to use it. Im Lani, and I AM AN ALCOHOLIC. I have to say, I have been going to meetings every day, and then some, since July 27, and I have 5 days of sobriety. Sad, and I did admit it in an offshoot way at a recent meeting. I told everyone that I would dance on the tables when I finally get my 30 day coin. I think Im in denial b/c I went to AA because my husband did. I have no reason to go to meetings as far as jail, trouble or anything else but because I went for him. But in reality, Its right where I need to be. I have met the most awesome people. But every week I choose to pick up a dang drink when my husband goes to work and I so feel like Im lying to everyone by being at a meeting. Im having a hard time b/c the sponser I choose is so busy with her own stuff. Honestly. as we all know, as an alcoholic, I can think of every excuse on the book as to why , I really dont have a problem, BUT I DO. What I find the most baffling, is that the men have a much greater success rate than the women, I almost feel, that even tho the men should stick w/ men etc that we as women , have to keep our families in motion,.I am in my car all the time running my kids here and there and I never seem to have a moment where I can just chill, read the big book or take time to work on me. Someone told me tonight to take my sobriety with me....Im stressed, Im losing it, and I just want to be sober. PLEASE help me.....
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"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
Welcome to MIP. There are some really terrific people here and lots of friendly help and advice.
Congratulations on five days of sobriety. For me, I take my sobriety one day at a time and the days do start to mount up.
When I was first came to AA, I was in denial. I knew that I drank too much, but I couldn't really be an alcoholic! I hadn't been to jail, or lost my job or my home. But, they were 'yets'. If I carried on drinking then they were all waiting for me. I went to as many meetings as possible and sat and really listened to other peoples stories and where there drinking had taken them. I looked for the similarities in what they were saying and not the differences. I accepted peoples 'phone numbers and made a promise to myself that I would 'phone them.
I could always find an excuse not to read the Big Book or to contact another person in the fellowship, but I always managed to find the time to drink way too much!
Just hang in there and it really will start to get better for you. Please keep coming back and letting us know how things are going for you, won't you?
Take care,
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
Boy, do I EVER remember the difficulties of the early days. Part of my difficulties were that 1st step. It took me some time to really get the "powerless" part. months in to my sobriety, actually.
I can relay a couple of things that worked fro me:
1. The right home group. I live where there are lost of meetings to choose from. I had to try on a few before I found one that really helped. Now I mix up my meetings to balance out the type of ESH (experience, strength and hope) that I get to hear.
2. Get the right sponsor for you, for now (needs and people change over time). ALL sponsors are temporary. Do not put fear of "hurting their feelings" ahead of your sobriety needs. No one who does sponsoring would want that. I had a great 1st sponsor - for awhile. I picked poorly the second time around, and just yesterday, met with my 3rd. Its a journey - try on until you find a good fit (and expect to change sizes as you progress).
3. There are 24/7 online AA groups that have people available to talk to 24/7. I had such a group (www.aaonline.net) and it was essential for my success in early sobriety. I would climb the walls wanting a drink after the kids went to bed (and hubby too). Having other AAs to talk to was KEY - every night, for me.
I am very glad to meet you! I drop by here most mornings and am glad to share further with you. I congratulate you on your 5 days. They might not "sound" like a lot to you right now, but those 1st days are way bigger than the average, trust me - I have been there, and remember it well.
Thank you both so much for responding!! I knew everyone in AA was Great!! Just getting ready to get in the shower and head to work. I pray its a wonderful day for all of us. I will respond later.. As always, on the go, kids just left for the bus. Lani
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"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
Welcome to MIP Lani. Hang in here, there are folks all over the world that are members, so different folks post in different time zones. Then there are the night owls, like me....LOL, I think of Carol as a nightowl also, cuz she's posting in the wee hours while I"m reading. Then I realize it's like ten o'clock in the morning, her time zone in England. Remember, when you post even tho nobody's here, you will get alot of answers when everyone wakes up and starts checking the posts. Be blessed, and hope to hear from you again. Chris
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"Never argue with an idiot... They'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience..."
It's funny that you think you are lying when you go to meetings because you keep drinking. We are ALL there because we are powerless over alcohol! Just don't get discouraged or too embarrassed to "keep coming back." And don't give yourself excuses, like men are more successful than women (I say that as a woman with years of sobriety!). Some of us have more obstacles than others when we come to AA, but I've noticed that the obstacles have little to do with who stays sober and who doesn't. But you aren't alone in your struggles, and it seems like you are reaching out for help. It's amazing how much strength we get from each other, and the ability to live life sober "one day at a time!"
