I've been reading everyone's posts over the last few weeks, and it has been very helpful to me. I'm having "one of those days", so I thought I would write about it and just get over it. The funny thing is, "one of those days" really isn't that bad anymore. At least I'm aware of that! I walked from my parking spot to work saying the third step prayer, and God must have taken my request to "do with me as you wilt" seriously. I was in my office for a half an hour before I realized I was supposed to be in this big, important planning meeting with everyone. So I went in late and felt like an idiot. I'm new at my job, too, and haven't felt like I've contributed much or made a good impression in any other way. Then I had to report back to my boss about how the few things I've been doing recently haven't turned out very fruitful. I've always put a lot into my career and sometimes it becomes an ego thing. I know, I know - it's what the third step is about, destruction of ego for a focus on the good of others. I get the irony of a re-focus on that prayer this morning!
Anyway, I just started into my 5th month of pregnancy and am having these crazy cramps from my uterus growing. I'm just in the crabbiest mood! I think it's also a hormone thing, which may be making me overreact emotionally to everything today. My mind knows that I have a wonderful life - an AMAZING life. And just to remind myself, I'll tell you the basics: I'm 39 years old, and 22 years sober. If that in itself isn't enough, I have a good job, a great husband, a baby on the way, a wonderful home, and friends who have been there for me in all ways. Okay, I'm feeling better already.
One reason I started checking out Miracles in Progress is that I just moved for the first time ever from my hometown and I wanted to make sure that I was connected to AA in every way possible. I've been going to meetings, but it takes a while to get to know folks in a new city. After years of a very steady life I have had many changes at once. I had the same employer and home for about 13 years, and left them to move to another city with my boyfriend (we commuted for nearly two years, and it was getting old). The first week that I was here, I got pregnant. We had planned to get married anyway, so we ran off and had a very intimate ceremony. I think because our relationship is so good, and I've NOT failed to improve my spiritual life, all the changes haven't shaken me too much (in spite of my crabbiness today). But, as I said earlier, that's why I'm here.
So sorry I just wrote a book! I would never talk this long in a meeting, so I'll just say I'm glad that you are all here as yet another way to help keep me on track.
Welcome Simple. I am also new to this site. I awnt to congradulate on 22 years of sobriety. With that kind of accomplishment you have every right to have a crabby day. Minus the hormones. Glad to hear you felt better before you finished your story. (thankyou) Rosco
Hi Simple, Welcome to MIP. You are among friends. 22yrs sober ....... QUITE COMMENDABLE!!! Want hear a little piece of irony. I moved back to my hometown after an absence of almost 10yrs. With exception of my parents everyone else seems like strangers to me. There is a local paper published weekly.....I don't recognize many of the names. Guess it can work both ways. LOL Congrats on your pregnancy. I'm a first time grandmother (wow.....does that date me!) as of a week ago. My daughter lived with me for most of the pregnancy.....and yep, there were times where the hormones bounced off the wall. It's normal to have the occassional mood swings. Looking forward to "seeing you around" Wanda
What a wonderful GIfT you are carrying! That little blessing from heaven that God created before the foundation of the World. Your feeling "BLAH" a litttle bit? Pregnancy will do that to you. So you got sober at 17? That must have been early drinking like myself with one exception you stopped at 17. So you drank for ? years 1234? I kept going from 13 until I was 38 years old seizures, health problems, mental problems, you name it, I had it. Just like the BIG BOOK talks to us about.
I did however quit drinking, smoking, using cocaine for my only Son during my pregnancy of 9 months. So I went through withdrawals during my pregnancy that I was not even aware I was going through. My temperment showed it, my health showed it, I had a difficult pregnancy. SO if you are having a good pregnancy Hip- Hip Hooray! Hip-Hip- Hooray!
Your in my prayers as is your husband. Lord God you are Sovereign we come to you with a need for Simples child that is unborn. Please Lord place your hands on this baby you created and touch him/her physically, mentally, and spirtiutually let it be in your good and perfect Will.
Thanks so much for your simple words & post, lady. A real treat to listen to your share. I really enjoyed it. You seem to have such a peace & serenity about you in your gentle ways & I'd like to thank you for inspiring me to recite the following from the Big Book. I had this part read out before my 1st & 2nd main shares & it really helped me to hand over & find the words. I hope it can do the same for me today. For those of us who arn't yet familiar with the literature at the heart of A.A. I hope this offers you some insight. It's a real boon to study & for those of us who are coming to know or are well versed, it always serves as a grand reminder of its simple lessons ~ Frankly, & without assuming anything for anyone I'd like to say, I'm sharing it just for me. Thanks for being here on MIP. A pleasure to share recovery with you. Thank God you're here. Yours, Danielle x
How it Works
'Selfishness--self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of all our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. Sometimes they hurt us, seemingly without provocation, but we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt. So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn't think so. Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. We must or it kills us! God makes that possible. And there often seems no way of entirely getting rid of self without His aid. Many of us had moral and philosophical convictions galore, but we could not live up to them even though we would have liked to. Neither could we reduce our self-centeredness much by wishing or trying on our own power. We had to have God's help. This is the how and why of it. First of all, we had to quit playing God. It didn't work. Next, we decided that hereafter in this drama of life, God was going to be our Director. He is the Principal; we are His agents. He is the Father, and we are His children. Most good ideas are simple, and this concept was the keystone of the new and triumphant arch through which we passed to freedom. When we sincerely took such a position, all sorts of remarkable things followed. We had a new Employer. Being all powerful, He provided what we needed, if we kept close to Him and performed His work well. Established on such a footing we became less and less interested in ourselves, our little plans and designs. More and more we became interested in seeing what we could contribute to life. As we felt new power flow in, as we enjoyed peace of mind, as we discovered we could face life successfully, as we became conscious of His presence, we began to lose our fear of today, tomorrow or the hereafter. We were reborn. We were now at Step Three. Many of us said to our Maker, as we understood Him: "God, I offer myself to Thee-to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always!" We thought well before taking this step making sure we were ready; that we could at last abandon ourselves utterly to Him. We found it very desirable to take this spiritual step with an understanding person, such as our wife, best friend, or spiritual adviser. But it is better to meet God alone than with one who might misunderstand. The wording was, of course, quite optional so long as we expressed the idea, voicing it without reservation. This was only a beginning, though if honestly and humbly made, an effect, sometimes a very great one, was felt at once.
__________________
Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!
