Today has been a pretty good day, I suppose. Work was a bit less stressful than usual and I've actually been completely pain free for the last 4 hours. But cringing at every twinge, wondering when the pain will return, as it always does. MRI and X-Rays showed NO new herniated disks, that's the good news and the bad news. Now, it's back to the drawing board wondering what the Hell is causing all this pain, since the symptons are EXACTLY the same as they were when I had ruptured disks! See the Neuro next Wed. and praying he's got some answers.......Things are good with John, I suppose, as long as I practice one day at a time with him too, it will continue to be good. Problem is, I'm an alcoholic, with abandonment issues, and I want what I want and I want it now, I REALLY want what I can't have. I've discovered that what I CAN have, I do not want! And sometimes when I get what I want, I no longer want it. Feeling a bit crazy I guess. What else is new.........I KNOW the problem is I haven't made a meeting in over a week. My BP has been up, so the doc upped my meds which makes me exhausted. I need a nap just to make it to bed! Plus, had three 12 hour days this week and looking at one more. Thank God tomorrow is Friday, off at noon and headed straight to the club house for that much needed and long overdue f2f. Hoping tomorrow is the day I find my new sponsor, too. As I've said, there isn't much in the way of quality soberiety in the women around these parts. Praying God sends me someone soon. I find myself worrying about it.........Well, Thanks for being here and for letting me share. I feel better Love, hugs, peace and sobriety > as Phil would say 'onward' .......
Wow Jen... I saw the first line saying that today was a pretty good day... then I read the rest... jeepers you have your hands full! Sounds like you're staying positive though... I am glad you are done from work tomorrow and get to go to a f2f.... hopefully you will feel a bit better. My friend and I joke about going into a convalescent home (we are both 24) because of the issues we have! We figure we could be roomates and it would be fun. Our lives would be easier because the Dr's would be there to see us and we wouldn't have to constantly be going out to the dr's and hospitals for tests! There always seems to be something going wrong with us... heart surgery, MS, physical therapy, amnesia... we seem to be a couple of old ladies! Plus who can go wrong with playing BINGO all day? If you want you can be one of our roomates let me know ... we are still figuring out a plan to get us in haha... well all joking aside I hope they find out what is causing the pain that you are still having... glad you have some temporary relief right now... let us know how your f2f went.... keep your head up!!!
Jamie
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"Advice is what you ask for when you already know the answer but wish you didn't"
Hi Jen. My name is Tim, and I'm an alcoholic. Welcome......
Sounds like you're having a wonderful (sarcasm intended) compilation of happenings! Good Lord, I KNOW what back pain (daily) can be like and you've read where I've discussed that before. There is nothing like constant pain to make one want to find an escape. I did that for waaaaaay too long! You've probably been that route too.
Are you taking anything for it? I believe that I mentioned Ultram (generic is tramadol hydrochloride) before. It's what I take. 100 mg. every 4-5 hrs, 2-3 times a day if I can't lie down, do some stretches, and manage the pain in that manner. It works great, it's a synthetic opiate and there's no "high" associated with it, and addiction rate is like one in 400K, I believe, or some phenomenally low rate like that. Good stuff for someone who is as addictable as we are.
I hope things pick up for you all around. If you want more info about my pain treatment, P.M. me...Love in recovery...Tim
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"We posess the eyes through which the universe gazes with wonder upon its own majesty."
I really do hope that the Neuro can come up with some answers for you. My boyfriend needed spinal surgery ten years ago, and he was in constant pain. So, from that point of view, I know just how exhausting and debilitating constant pain can be.
I do hope that you will be able to find a new sponsor soon. I know that I would be lost without mine.
Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.
Take good care of yourself, won't you?
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
Thanks!! so much!! I've got 45 minutes till my shift is over and I can't waaaaiiiitttttt! Still pretty pain free - and actually slept a bit - can't believe it!
Jamie, forget the convel.home, let's just move to the ocean and become the new "golden girls"
Tim, I cant take Ultram, I tried it about 2 yrs ago, had a seizure, then when I informed my doc that I was an alkie, he flipped out, said that's not one for alcoholics/addicts practicing or not (not really sure why) ....yea, I take a handful of Advil, seems to work about as good as anything, but thank you and yes, i'd be interested in what you do for pain management
Carol, you hit the nail on the head with the word 'exhausting' . thanks for the prayers.
Phil, he does pretty good, when he's around....
Hugs to you all and again, thanks for being here.
-- Edited by Doll at 11:24, 2007-07-13
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
... we are still figuring out a plan to get us in haha... well all joking aside I hope they find out what is causing the pain that you are still having... glad you have some temporary relief right now... let us know how your f2f went.... keep your head up!!!