Doll, wow, I can so relate to the relationship problems right now... I saw your post, and your apology on another thread... and no need to apologize, well, if you need to apologize, then so do I cuz I drag my relationship problems here too lol as people said in reply to that thread, if it's somethin that affects our sobriety, then it fits on this forum...
I didn't totally read all the replies on your post, kinda skimmed, as I'm pretty tired... but the one that stood out was Carol's, saying to follow your heart... Thanks Carol... cuz I needed to hear that too...
With all I'm dealing with in my relationship right now, this is something I needed to hear... along with what someone else said here about how some people don't know how to say I love you, but show it instead... I've been in here ranting about my bf, and well, no he doesn't always show he loves me, but most the time he does, and is a good man... he really does treat me well the majority of the time... but we both have those defects that come out at times... plenty of them...
He got home Friday night, after being gone a week... and god... I don't want to move out... I don't want to risk screwing things up... I don't want to leave him... and you know, while he was gone and I was ranting and apparently more or less on a dry drunk, or at least really screwed up from lack of sleep... it was an easy decision to make... but him being back home, I realized how much I love being here with him... and I don't want to leave... I've talked with one of my sponsors about this, and well, she said to take it one day at a time, that him being home could show me if I want to be here or not lol
You know, people bring up what I'm giving up for him... I don't really feel I'm giving up much.... I'm gaining a lot by being here... I wouldn't have some of the opportunities I have now if I wasn't here on this ole farm... couldn't have my little critters if I moved out... wouldn't have the experience with all these little animal babies... brought in a chick today that was in the barn, just hatched recently, maybe a day or two old, half dead... gave him sugar water and the "bra treatment" and he's doing so much better... I wouldn't have those experiences living somewhere else... it's those little things there that bring me joy and serenity...
I will admit, being here doesn't seem to always be the best thing for my sobriety... I do admit that... and am going to keep an open mind on what I need to do to take care of myself... but for the time being, it's just one day at a time... I definitely think I need to get a bit more involved in alanon, I've been to a couple of meetings but that's it... but I think it could really help... I also need to work on taking better care of myself when he's not here... as that's when my mind gets the most screwed up, I don't take good care of myself when I'm alone, then everything seems worse than it is...
Anyway... I'm rambling... but Doll, I know how ya feel with the relationship problems and feeling like it's affecting your sobriety... but like Carol said... we gotta follow our hearts... you said your man is good to you and you've been with him 6 years? I wouldn't throw it away over a few days problems... Anyway, thanks Carol, and others... although your replies weren't for me, they helped me also...
