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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Alcoholics Anonymous -> Alcoholics Anonymous -> The Hormone Hostage
Post Info TOPIC: The Hormone Hostage
Phil


MIP Old Timer

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The Hormone Hostage
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THE HORMONE HOSTAGE KNOWS THAT THERE ARE DAYS IN  

   THE MONTH WHEN ALL A MAN HAS TO DO IS OPEN HIS MOUTH

& HE TAKES HIS LIFE INTO HIS OWN HANDS!  THIS IS A HANDY

   GUIDE THAT SHOULD BE AS COMMON AS A DRIVER'S LICENSE

IN THE WALLET OF EVERY HUSBAND, BOYFRIEND,

CO-WORKER, OR SIGNIFICANT OTHER!

DANGEROUS:

SAFER:

SAFEST:

ULTRA SAFE:

WHAT'S FOR DINNER?

CAN I HELP YOU WITH DINNER?

WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO FOR DINNER?

HERE, HAVE

SOME WINE.

ARE YOU

WEARING THAT?

WOW, YOU SURE LOOK GOOD IN BROWN!

WOW!

LOOK AT YOU!

HERE, HAVE

SOME WINE.

WHAT ARE YOU

SO WORKED UP ABOUT?

COULD WE BE OVERREACTING?

HERE'S MY PAYCHECK.

HERE, HAVE

SOME WINE.

SHOULD YOU BE EATING THAT?

YOU KNOW, THERE ARE A LOT OF APPLES LEFT.

CAN I GET YOU A PIECE OF CHOCOLATE WITH THAT?

HERE, HAVE

SOME WINE.

WHAT DID

YOU DO

ALL DAY?

I HOPE YOU DIDN'T OVER-DO IT TODAY.

I'VE ALWAYS LOVED YOU IN THAT ROBE!

HERE, HAVE

SOME MORE

WINE.

 

 

12 THINGS PMS STANDS FOR:

1. PASS MY SHOTGUN

2. PSYCHOTIC MOOD SWING

3. PERPETUAL MUNCHING SPREE

4. PUFFY MID-SECTION

5. PEOPLE MAKE me SICK

6. PROVIDE ME with SWEETS

7. PARDON MY SOBBING

8. PIMPLES MAY SURFACE

9. PASS MY SWEATS

10. PISSY MOOD SYNDROME

  11. PACK MY STUFF

 &&& MY FAVORITE ONE

 12. POTENTIAL MURDER SUSPECT



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"LOVE" devoid of self-gratification, is in essence, the will, to the greatest good...of another.
Wren


MIP Old Timer

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Okay, now, kindly change all of the gender benders over to the male---because I know for a fact! that many's the day I have found it much easier to smile and say "honey, would you like that beer now?"...and I turn on the ball game and run out the door.....................

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"Never argue with an idiot... They'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience..."
Phil


MIP Old Timer

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Posts: 2063
Date:
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ok.....

PMS........Also called "Primary Male Shortcommings" 

And yup.....I get bitchy about 6 days a month..(smile)

Wheres the damned converter???  lol

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"LOVE" devoid of self-gratification, is in essence, the will, to the greatest good...of another.
learning


MIP Old Timer

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Midol anyone? LOL

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Phil


MIP Old Timer

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Posts: 2063
Date:
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36_17_1.gif


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"LOVE" devoid of self-gratification, is in essence, the will, to the greatest good...of another.
alligot


Senior Member

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biggrinbiggrinbiggrinbiggrin

It is the denial that comes with this one, i can count down the days then convince myself i must have written it on the calendar wrong weirdface


Solution............Evening Primrose for the manic insanity
                        Starflower oil for the psycotic bitch from hell   wink

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amanda2u2


MIP Old Timer

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okay,,,,   Phil,   'here, have some wine', and wren, "would you like a beer now?"

amanda



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do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
Phil


MIP Old Timer

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Posts: 2063
Date:
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hmmmmm...Wine? no...thanku.....

But I'll go for the safest column..if youre offering...

Dinner and chocolate would be nice....

I'll wear a beautiful  robe....

And we can use your paycheck...(smile)

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"LOVE" devoid of self-gratification, is in essence, the will, to the greatest good...of another.
Wren


MIP Old Timer

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Nope, thanks, but can I come along for the fancy dinner, Phil? ( I wear jeans everywhere--guess I could wear some nice cords) 

Burger Joint

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"Never argue with an idiot... They'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience..."
Phil


MIP Old Timer

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Posts: 2063
Date:
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um Chris?

Im 7 hours away...driving...

You're 50....

I could get you a doggy bag to go...and send it UPS...:)

__________________
"LOVE" devoid of self-gratification, is in essence, the will, to the greatest good...of another.
Wren


MIP Old Timer

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Posts: 799
Date:
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Ah, Phil, where is the love? You can't just grab your taxi and run it over? Okay, tell you what. We have this food service here called "Schwan's". They deliver to your home. I love t-bone and lobster, with a stuffed potatoe, asparagus tips, and I want bleu cheese dressing for the salad. See, if you really look, there's always a good compromise. I'll be with you'all in spirit. Will you send me a postcard?????? LOL, Chris

__________________

 

"Never argue with an idiot... They'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience..."
Phil


MIP Old Timer

Status: Offline
Posts: 2063
Date:
Permalink  
 

5_2_111.gif


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"LOVE" devoid of self-gratification, is in essence, the will, to the greatest good...of another.
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