Morality leaves you all alone in many dire situations - I drank because of this...

POOKISTAN · Member

Morality leaves you all alone in many dire situations - I drank because of this...

Doll · MIP Old Timer

Look, man! You can sugar coat it all you want, tap dance around it or bullshit yourself......you drank because you're a drunk! Only when you accept that fact and do something about it, will things change..........you're in my prayers!

Quetzal · MIP Old Timer

Hi Pooks,

I completely agree with Doll. I drank simply because I am an alcoholic it's what we do best. I hope that you'll soon find some acceptance.

Take care,

Carol

alligot · Senior Member

I'm with the girls on this one.

I read the link and i saw a young man full of fear, insecurity , resentment and suspicion.

You want to know why you drink ? Heres how go to meetings get a sponsor and work the steps.

Sure i don't understand its different for you........... absolute bullrash ! I was different too biggrin

Kinda weird all that stuff, now i have not completed my step work but i have learned enough to know that you me and them are not so different but what we do can set us apart. We as humans are all wired pretty much the same way but as alcoholics we seem to keep doing the same thing over expecting a different result.

I could easily set myself apart from you or anyone on this board as i am an addict that is how my disease progressed. I did struggle with this but i had to set the differences aside to see the similarities or i'd be still using or dead. When i read Bills story, i thought what the fuck weirdface

I was a woman (no id) I was an addict (no id) I didn't use like him (no id) the language was flowery and dated (no id) BUT i read it and read it until i could see we were the same i saw him full of fear i watched his breakdown as he hit his rock bottoms EVENTUALLY I wholeheartedly identified with his feelings.

So my friend smart as you may be do try not to intellectualise recovery, this is a simple program for complicated people wink

My first sponsor once told me...... Don't matter if i drank because i am some sort of a deviant or morally deficient to forget or remember because i had a tough life or a privileged one becuse i was bullied at school or that i wasn't invited to the parties if it is genetic or how i was raised or if it is because whilst my mother was pregnant with me a beer truck ran over her foot, i am an alcoholic, sooner i accept that the sooner i'm out of the problem and into the solution wink

I've always liked that alot smile

Tipsy McStagger · Senior Member

I sometimes make it complicated when it isn't...I often have to remind myself that I drink/drank because it was a quick and easy way to make me feel good. That's it, that's all.

timverton · MIP Old Timer

A conversation works both ways Pookie; you must listen and digest what is being said to you as well as speaking your thoughts. Socratic argument.

And yes, I did read the link. Whatever this "reason" you do not state was, drinking did not help to solve whatever damage or turmoil it created. It only made you temporarily satisfied that you had no solution and allowed you to wallow in your self-pity (perhaps pity for others also) at your perceived lack of control over it. It did nothing to make things right. Drinking or using will NEVER make any wrong right. Only clear thoughts and actions will.
Good fortune...Tim

learning · MIP Old Timer

HONESTY that is part of the program. When you can't come clean and share "the worst"
with hope of absolution and righting the wrong(s) then you will remain in fear, depression,
and even anger. You keep to yourself whatever it that started a ten day downward spiral.
Anxiety over what.
This board offers you help, as do meetings, as does counseling, and so on..........regarding
your consumption. You were given many suggestions and what HAD worked.
I agree with Alligot......it doesnt matter where one comes from or what they have done
in the past........bottom line.....this is now today and all before this point that occured is done, through and over.
Worrying about the future is a waste. Control only what you can today........and take
each day with that same attitude.
As Tim says, you must also listen. You were given some sound advice by those who have
walked in "harm's way" via their alcohol/drug addictions, as well as some advice on your medical issues.
Why were you asking if you weren't seeking solutions to your "problems"? Why haven't you heeded or attempted this
advice? Looking for excuses? Wanting sympathy? Sorry, I personally won't do that.
It's called ENABLING......it serve neither me or AH any purpose. However, when the
12 steps were heeded........I got healthier, happier, and life in general got sooooo
much better.
I knew some things about alcoholism and it's effects. What I NOW know is so much more!!!
It ain't pretty. Those stuck in fear, excuses CAN be so bullhead. And there is a point.....
that no matter how many suggestions, how much advice those of us have walked in
that nightmare and have found a BETTER way to go, we must "let go" and allow that
(or those) people to reap their own consequences.
Perhaps from your vantage point.....you are misunderstood. From ours I think it perhaps
would be agreed ........ we might be coming to that point......"let go"

Sobrietyspell · MIP Old Timer

Pook, you've yet to awaken. One can't know how denial plays a part in their life until they begin to wake up. You're going to know a new joy & a new freedom. You speak about morality but what is yours? Lying to yourself isn't moral. Do you think we're all mad? Or do you think that possibly maybe we've come to know a bigger picture ourselves where we're not the centre of the universe. There is a 'great' humility in the 12steps & they're so gentle. They're kind & full of goodwill yet not easy on the trier. We attempt & we try & the way clears slowly. You'll eventually have an even bigger picture to put the one you already think you have inside. This may sound vague (& I think you like that in a way since you allude yourself occasionally) We simply ask for you to hang~fire. Question your assumptions & let go of everything you think you know just for moments while you open up to new ways of thinking. These new ways of thinking involve dealing with life on life's terms without taking a drink. Do you wonder where & what the magic is in between these efforts that slowly opens your mind & makes it possible? To wake up in the morning, travel through a day & go to bed at night sober. It's no coincidence. We go to meetings & we pick up influences that develop our defences against the first drink. Without these meetings I would feel pretty defenceless as I am an alcoholic. It's in my nature to want & need a drink. It's my default setting & has been for a long time. Even if I learn & fix the flaws the alcoholism is still there on some level & we have to stay vigilant, concentrative & in the zone. Drinking was one of my first learned coping mechanisms (I was a spiritual person as a child & young person but drink eventually flew in the face of that) I only thought I was having fun. It took a while to peel back the layers & explore other reasons why I drank & what the emotion, mental & physical cost was. I wasn't a low-bottom drunk but it was bad enough & we can get off at any level on the way down. I never want to go there again. I don't have to. Sobriety's opening so much for me, it's really exciting & it's a place I could never enter in the world of drink. Don't mind my going on if it's not what you want. I fancied sharing my experience of the whole thing. I'm 7months sober & new & wonderful stuff unfolds before me all the time. I know I couldn't be here in a drunken haze. It's like it's the opposite. Anyway, sorry if I've bored you to tears, maybe I'll say something buzzing one day lol ;) Danielle x

-- Edited by Sobrietyspell at 17:28, 2007-05-03

Doll · MIP Old Timer

POOKISTAN wrote:

Can we just pretend for a minute like the topic title doesn't say that second part? I mean seriously, based on the replies I wonder if anyone even went to the link. This isn't an attempt to coppout - After two and a half weeks of drinking in moderation my body decided it couldn't take it....
I mean is it possible to actually have a real conversation on here? At what point in my sobriety do I get the priviledge of being able to post something like "I like bizmark doughnuts" without everyone coming in and posting "No, you only think you like bizmark doughnuts - The truth is you're a drunk!"?

No, we can't pretend that 2nd half is not there......if you didn't want reponses to that, then you shouldn't have posted it - this is an AA forum. IMHO, I think you're looking for co-signers. You won't find them here.
Yes. I went to the link and I read it.

If you can 'drink in moderation' why are you here?

And if you want to start a thread about Bizmark doughnuts (whatever those are ) WITHOUT it leading to replies regarding drinking, then post ONLY about doughnuts, leave the booze out of it altogether. It ain't rocket surgery

-- Edited by Doll at 20:41, 2007-05-03