Hi Moon, I'm still confused about what a dry drunk is. What's the difference between that and a sober alcoholic and an alcoholic in recovery? I mean, suppose there is someone who is an alcoholic who decides to quit and looks to AA for assistance, but only uses online resources and 12 step information to guide her? Because she is not attending f2f meetings, does this automatically make her a dry drunk? . . . of course this is all hypothetically speaking . . .
When I first started back with AA I knew that I really was an alcoholic, but I wasn't ready to accept it. So, I ended up taking another drink. It wasn't until I really started working with my sponsor and working the steps that I started to feel acceptance. Then things started to get so much better.
In the early days of my sobriety, I felt pretty grouchy and irritable. But, it does pass. Things will improve for you. It just takes a little time. Please hang in there and keep posting and letting us know how it's going for you, won't you?
Take care,
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
While I'm no expert, what Moon describes sounds like what I have always thought a dry drunk was. I've been sober 11 years, Moon, and accept that I am a drunk, but some days feel all the things you descrbe. Once I removed the alcohol, which muted those feelings, I had to learn how to cope with them better. Some days are better than others. I now have tools (for me the 12 steps) to help combat my tendency to allow those feelings to take over, but sometimes its a struggle. The good news is that most days I'm okay - more than okay - happy. But it does take time. Hang in there, whatever path you take. Mike in Boston
First off i would like to say that the following is my opinion and not the opinion of Alcoholics Anonymous.
I believe the term dry drunk is refered to an alcoholic ( who suffers the dis-ease of alcoholism) who merely abstains from alcohol. Whilst the alcoholic in recovery is abstinent however maintains a 'spiritual' well being by attending meetings working through the steps with a sponsor and applying this program to their daily life ie steps & traditions .
I wonder about myself on this front My husband recently told me i was a 'dry addict' a term often used for this is 'a clean addict living dirty' but to steer clear of semantics i think it is basically the same thing as a dry drunk. Maybe he is right and maybe he is not, i don't know. I find it difficult to listen to what he says as he is also an addict/alcoholic who has been through the steps with a sponsor ( and delights in telling you the lineage of his sponsor) he has done alot of service and spent around 8 yrs around the fellowship and going to meetings and guiding others through the steps, he made a concious choice to stop going to meetings to pursue other spiritual paths. Fair enough. We have been married 3 years and in that time he has picked up a drink twice. Of course but who wouldn't living with a dry drunk ?
Sorry, i'm not helping here I believe for me i have to go back and work the steps with a sponsor to clear the wreckage of my past and to help me see more clearly my future and to enable me to see my part in the things that appear to happen around me. I have changed a great deal since getting clean, i am honest, i get up and do it every day sometimes with good grace sometimes with bad grace, i have no 'great' shame in the way i live my life although i would be embarrased about my behaviour at times, it now makes me pause for thought. I actually care about things now and find i am more present in my life instead of just being here. Before i was selfish to the core dishonest and manipulating ( I suppose i now have more subtle elements of this)
I feel like i am hi-jacking your post moon, this is based on my opinion and my experience. I empathise with the confusion you feel and pray that for you me and all the others that this too will pass.
Excellent subject for my situation with long term physical sobriety, etc. I used to drink pretty much daily so I need to attend meeting daily. Also because of various legal situations I am not talking to my designated sponsor enough about what's going on with me, i.e. medical issues, etc. because of trust issues. In this case I need to beef up my meetings, and find other sober alcoholics with time to discuss my issues, otherwise I'm in trouble and much pain that, as they say, suffering is optional...and I need to accept that and take the action necessary to do the job...I haven't used this board for many moons and thank you that it is here today...as I could call this a 10th step which prompts 11 & 12, etc. more meetings, etc.. thx, jn P.S. I attended 2 meeting yesterday and an H&I conference for a few hours which is a start..will hit 2 meetings tomorrow, maybe an aa and an alanon and rejoin a local alano club, as I'm now retired and have much going on..the phone lists are great for a number of reasons also to fulfill my primary purpose as well and passing it on..also attended an alanon luncheon yesterday and someone at my table in alanon mentioned that the alcoholic affects 15 or 20 people including family with their disease and I to the guy next to me that I have been led to believe the alanon is just as sick as the alchi..but he didn't touch it.. -- Edited by johnn101259 at 06:37, 2007-04-29
Hiya Moon, hope you're feeling better after the other day I'm cautious to add my tuppence worth as I'm barely 7months old! I love listening to people's opinions though & taking on board new insights. Just thought I'd reply & welcome John back. Well done in your sobriety, John, thanks for leading the way in A.A.'s footsteps. Danielle x
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Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!
The following opion is what I consider MY OWN "dry drunk" state.
To me, my dry drunk was the state of being sober and...maybe seeing people imbibing..a t.v. commercial, or in real ife, and saying "I wish I could do that, but I can't."
My situation now is that I no longer have the disire to drink, to alter my consiousness with any substance. I now consider myself sober....BUT ALWATS ON GUARD for that little temptation that may try to tease me away. My opinion only. Good fortune...Tim
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"We posess the eyes through which the universe gazes with wonder upon its own majesty."
Irritable, impatience, not tolerant, capable of raging, uncontrolable feelings, grouchy.
Is this considered dry drunk? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Add lonely to the above and that describes how I was feeling earlier last week. For me I was back in the "ISM" part of this disease (I Self Me) Long story short I had come to several realizations to break me out of it. One, that I need not only my HP but also the fellowship of AA I've been hitting more meetings going ealry staying late, ( I found a sponsor this way) the second was that step one hit me like that lightning bolt if the rest of the steps come slow and gradual thats ok. and finally if I have bad days thats ok because today I don't have to drink to deal with them. Phil's definition is the best "insanity without the booze" I was slipping back into the insanity I got back out it just took me , my hp and the fellowship to do it. I hope you feel happier soon I know that I find sharing these things helps e to let go of them. Good Luck Bryan
Ps Haven't posted for a while but I have been lurking, Day 36 today doing great
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Obsession with self in these matters is a dead end; attention to God leads us out into the open, into a spacious, free life. Romans 8:6 , The Message
I heard this last night at a meeting, a dry drunk is being discontent and usually not happy when you are NOT drinking. Being sober is being content and happy when you are NOTdrinking.
who is an alcoholic who decides to quit and looks to AA for assistance, but only uses online resources and 12 step information to guide her? Because she is not attending f2f meetings, does this automatically make her a dry drunk? . . . of course this is all hypothetically speaking . . .
My husband recently told me i was a 'dry addict' a term often used for this is 'a clean addict living dirty' but to steer clear of semantics i think it is basically the same thing as a dry drunk. Maybe he is right and maybe he is not, i don't know. I find it difficult to listen to what he says as he is also an addict/alcoholic who has been through the steps with a sponsor ( and delights in telling you the lineage of his sponsor) he has done alot of service and spent around 8 yrs around the fellowship and going to meetings and guiding others through the steps, he made a concious choice to stop going to meetings to pursue other spiritual paths. Fair enough. We have been married 3 years and in that time he has picked up a drink twice. Of course but who wouldn't living with a dry drunk ?