I have been having a tough time this week. when I get upset enough it always leads towards the offlicence, I need to stop this becasue I am going to get drunk, part of me earlier said sod it no one will mind if you just have the one bottle. I feel lonely in sobriety because all my peers at uni and work do what I cant do. I am grateful for being sober dont get me wrong but I sometimes feel like a void. sorry for the boring post.
Maybe nobody would "mind" Robert, but I would certainly care if you did. You don't need to give your personal power over to these nick-nacks. I believe we can do anything we really aim to do, if we really want it. Myself, I try not to compare myself to others. God didn't make me like anyone else, He made us all unique and gifted in our own special ways. There are undoubtedly people out there that wish they had the skills you have. I remember a long time ago, there was a poster at one of the meetings I went to and it said " I'm perfect the way I am, cuz God don't make no junk". Bad grammar, but I latched onto what it said. My Source doesn't make junk. If I keep watching the other guy, and what they have or can do, I will never recognize my own gifts, and YOU DO have gifts, Robert, that others don't. So, rather than sod it, sod the others, eh? chris
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"Never argue with an idiot... They'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience..."
Self esteem is related to your self worth and your value. Building esteem is a first step towards your happiness and a better life.
Self esteem increases your confidence. If you have confidence you will respect yourself. If you respect yourself you can respect others, improve your relationships, your achievements and your happiness....
Low self esteem causes depression, unhappiness, insecurity and poor confidence. Other's desires may take preference over yours. Inner criticism, that nagging voice of disapproval inside you, causes you to stumble at every challenge and challenges seem impossible.
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"LOVE" devoid of self-gratification, is in essence, the will, to the greatest good...of another.
Hey Robert! I saw on your reply to my post that you play the diggeridoo, too! If one of us ever crosses the pond, we'll have to get together for a little jam session....play some diggeri-duet. 'Course, we'll have a lot better chance of making that happen if we both stay sober.
I understand the feeling of not being "in the group" when not drinking...took me a long time to realize that most of those drinkers were just like me, thinking they couldn't have fun in any social setting unless they were 'half in the bag'. It also took me a while to feel comfortable in my own skin, being totally sober in social settings. I have finally found that I can enjoy a lot more of an outing by staying sober, without having to worry about making an arse of myself because of the alcohol. I can now leave that up to some other poor drunk at the gathering.
One other thing I have discovered...the people in life who I have found to be true friends, the ones with whom friendship is the most gratifying and rewarding, the ones who will deservedly have my respect and admiration, who I am honored to call "friend"???.....they are the ones who, automatically, and without a second's thought, respect my choice to stay sober.
hey robert... I completely agree with everyone here. Wren makes a very good point about minding vs caring. Speaking for myself, I would also not want you to give up on your hard work and what you have put into your sobriety. Do you want to throw it all away? I care and would hope that you wouldn't give in to it just because "everyone else is doing it". Just remember that there was a reason you gave up drinking and try to remember those reasons. I am still struggling with learning how to live sober but I am doing alot better today that i was a week ago and I hope you are also realizing the babysteps that you are also taking. I am obviously not a pro at this or a veteran to this whole sobriety thing by any means since it has only been a little over a month for me but anytime you feel a slip coming on maybe we can offer some words of encouragement to you... let people try and help and remember I CARE! and by the way... I have never seen you write a "boring post".. keep posting
-- Edited by destinydreamer at 22:43, 2007-03-14
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"Advice is what you ask for when you already know the answer but wish you didn't"
The others have spoken eloquently what I feel too--I care about your strength, about your accomplishments, about your sobriety. I'd never participated in a chat room or forum until coming here and I never thought it possible to really develop a sense of support in a virtual community . . . but I think we have it here, Robert. I think we do care about each other's success.
I want to share one of the things I value about your posts here--your openess and honesty. Recently, when you had that posting that was taken off, you were completely open to others' perspectives and feelings. We all make mistakes--it's an amazing gift to have the humility to acknowledge them, grow from them, and move on. You might be surprised how rare that is, but you have that gift.
Take care, Robert, and please let us know how you are doing.
