Each of us, in life, walks on the special path that the soul is destined to undertake. Our journeys are very different and we progress at different rates. The pitfalls and blessings we encounter are unique, yet we are all learning and no one form of knowledge is more important than any other. Even so, when we observe others, it can be easy to pass judgment on their decisions and to assume their actions will correspond with what we feel is right. But for every problem, there are a multitude of solutions. Everyone makes mistakes and, while watching others do so can be frustrating, it is important that you accept each person's unique way of doing things. Giving others the freedom to act in the way they feel are best without the fear of harsh judgments honors the capacity for growth that all people possess.
It is helpful to practice accepting others as they are. Never judge the decisions of others based on the path you would have taken because every person lives by different values and experiences. Challenge is a universal concept, but we all deal with difficulties in our own way. Give others the space to fail, but don't harden your heart against their experience. It isn't wise to try and fix people or control situations. You may feel compelled to intervene when difficulties arise, but it is important only to offer guidance when asked unless the person is involved in a truly dangerous situation or cannot act for themselves. Failure to choose the right path or to make enlightened decisions is simply another step on the journey. It is a means to experience and wisdom. Letting go of the need to influence others does not discount offering loving support and it does not mean that you need to stop caring. It does mean stepping back, dissolving judgment, and gracefully allowing others to live their own destinies.
Giving others the freedom to blossom in their own journeys gives you the freedom to take more notice of your own. You may not condone the actions you see taking place, but your reactions will be more loving by letting them be. And you will be able to focus on just being yourself, confident that the path you take is as right, valid, and special as any other.
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"Never argue with an idiot... They'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience..."
Great post! I appreciate the efforts made here at this forum to create an environment in which we can all feel safe to express our beliefs, opinions, thoughts, and concerns without judgement. I don't mind debating, but I do try not to assume everything I think and say and do is 100% correct or the only choice (of course I have my moments when I need some reminding).
I especially like the following thought: Giving others the freedom to blossom in their own journeys gives you the freedom to take more notice of your own.
When I am taking care of friends' children, and one of them comes up to me to tattle on one of the other children, I try to explain the above quote to them--something like "hey, dude, I just saw you making a poor choice a moment ago (i.e. playing with your father's prized priceless family heirloom model airplane); it seems to me you've got enough to think about concerning your own choices. I'll keep an eye on Becky and all of you, but why not concentrate on what you're doing right now?" They're usually pretty surprised because they had no idea I saw that they themselves were testing the boundaries or are surprised because I didn't get after them for it. Sometimes this isn't appropriate 'though because I don't want to discourage them from telling me about another child's dangerous behavior.
All that said, I find myself having to remember the same thing--when I start to judge one of my co-workers, or when I've been judging them for a while, I need to take a step back and ask myself why I feel like I know how they should be acting. Those are often humbling moments.
