I've a question for those of you who've written that you don't crave alcohol anymore: What does that mean?
I'm sorry if this sounds like an ignorant question and I certainly don't mean it to sound rude, but I'm curious. I thought part of what makes a alcoholic person an alcoholic is the fact that they always want to drink (even if they don't end up drinking).
Can a recovering alcoholic--let's say someone who hasn't had a drink in years and years--actually lose the desire to drink? If yes, do you ever . . . just once in a while . . .on an especially great occasion or on an especially bad occasion . . . want to have a drink?
If a person has totally lost any desire to drink ever, what makes her/him an alcoholic? Is it because they know that if they were to have one drink they wouldn't be able to stop?
In the beginning, Laura, I did have non-stop cravings. I spent so many months at the alanon club, after work, for meetings, etc. that I finally ended up getting hired as a breakfast cook there for quite awhile. Everytime anything happened, I had the desire. I remember getting these chronic nose bleeds and looking at my Dad as I had my nose pinched and saying "is this what I sobered up for?". Dont ask me the thinking behind that one, LOL. So even tho the physical withdrawals were over, the psychological craving was still there. I was, truly, shocked when last year, out of where I've no idea, this incredible craving hit me. I live in the boondocks, meetings are on the other side of a mountain once a week, and I was on this board in a flash. Just as quickly, the craving left. I believe it was a build up of emotional issues and manifested that way. Now, after all these years, I've no doubt that if I pick up one tiny drink, the physical craving will return. As I mentioned earlier, the disease progresses whether I'm drinking or not. It's just the nature of it. So the void left after stopping, after releasing my big love affair, had to be filled with healthier things. I'm an alcoholic whether I'm sucking it down or not. If I doubt that, I always have the option of researching that. In the beginning I did. Once I was sober for eighteen months, and figured since I didn't physically crave it anylonger, I could control it. Ha. I went down quicker and crashed harder than oil during a heat wave. I go months at a time without any desire whatsoever. That's the insidiousness of this disease. It sits inside and lurks. Hope this didn't just confuse you more, and no, don't think this would offend anyone. We're here so we can answer questions, too. hugs, Chris
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Yes, Wren, what you shared is helpful. So, is there a difference between wanting a drink and craving one (or more)? That question is for anyone who has been sober for a while, not just Wren, well, actually, that question is for anyone no matter how long it's been since you've had a drink. Perhaps I'm putting the cart before the horse. Perhaps I won't have an answer to these questions until I experience the path that can bring those answers . . . Yeah, um, be that as it may, asking questions kind of feels good. Thanks
Laura, the big book of this program promises these things are available, and lays out precisely how the founders did it. It worked for me. I could never white knuckle it, up to the very moment I was relieved of my alcoholic obsession. I have found also, that in keeping close to the manner of living they suggest, the occasional notion of drinking does not prosper.
Right after I stopped drinking I still had a craving now and then around 3:00 to 5:00 in the afternoon, normal after work hours when I used to go get a beer. Also after I do my yardwork, same thing last time I did yardwork. That's when I use the wait an hour thing- wait an hour and see if I still want a drink. and then if I do wait another hour and see if I want a drink. and then... you get the idea.
I dont crave alcohol at all now. We'll see when I do my yardwork next time.
Funny thing. I had a dream the other night and I poured myself a big pint of beer and then looked down and was horrified that I'd done it. I then turned to someone who was with me and said "Here- you can drink tis one. I forgot- I dont drink anymore." Too fricken funny. I woke up all proud that I hadn't succombed.
as to the difference between wanting and craving, I guess that's all semantics and depends on the interpretation. Like- I want my daughter to go to college but I dont really crave her going to college. I want to get my car washed. I crave something sweet or something salty sometimes, I crave water when I'm really parched. and if I drank one beer I'd crave more- that horrible fricken feeling I get where I know I'm pretty much helpless to the feeling. I could not drink maybe but that craving feeling would be there for a while. And that is a big thing that keeps me from having that first drink.
I've had an occasional dream where I drank, like many people describe, and they where troublesome. The gutwrenching, hopeless feeling that all is lost, literally, waking up terrified. Then I realized something. That 'feeling', that I experienced, so like the alcoholic nightmare I lived, how else could I be so graphically reminded of how it was. I found them to actually be usefull, however uncomfortable.
Good point, Ryan, I need to open up that big book.
I guess when I say "want" in my own little world I’m referring to a conscious inner conversation I have with myself--i.e. I've had a tough day, and I really want to turn off with a few drinks. When I think of "crave" I think of the crux of the addiction; the core of the disease; heart beat of the beast. So, when I read that someone doesn't crave a drink, I think wow, can I extinguish the beast? Quell its poison? Send it into dormancy?
Not to imply I don't GET that an alcoholic can NEVER drink again without reawakening the slumbering dragon. From my own (short lived) abstinence(s), and through observing others slipping back into bad habit, and from reading posts here that last truth has really been driven home to me.
Well said that the difference lies in the semantics of my question. After thinking about my question I realized that the “want” in my mind is the symbolic form the chaotic undefined language of addiction breathes into life its demand. I don’t think it’s merely symptomatic of the craving but it’s the language I use to address it.
I have heard people share that they lost the compulsion to drink as soon as they started going to meetings. Other people have said it took them a little while. We are all different.
For me, it took a couple of weeks for the 'want' to have a drink to leave me. Then, on special occasions or difficult days the compulsion was still there for me. Now, it really is very rare that I have a 'need' to drink feeling. When I do, I just sit quietly and read from the Big Book or 'phone someone in AA and talk it through. But, the more meetings I attend and the harder I work our program of recovery the better life gets for me.
I know that if I picked up a drink again, no matter how long I had been sober for, that I would not be able to stop drinking again. But, today, I am comfortable with that. I only have one fear in my life now and that is that I will pick up a drink again. But, I feel that that is a 'healthy' fear.
Take care,
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
I can relate to the difference between 'wanting' and 'craving'. Wanting, to me, is more of a choice after I've thought about something, and sometimes a feeling comes along with it of need. Craving is a gut reaction, like a reflex, kind of like a nicotine fit, and seems to be independent of my best thoughts. I never want a drink anymore. I do get cravings that are triggered by certain things, like stressful situations, and depression, or sometimes just by surprise. There is no problem with the not wanting a drink, but sometimes the not wanting a drink has to struggle with a craving that gets triggered by a tough situation. The craving is a kind of compulsion, created by brain pathways that never go away. Cravings are only overcome by creating new pathways that can be equal or stronger to the original one. That's why when we crave a cigarette, or a porn mag, or a snort, we have to call someone and get busy doing something else till it passes,,, like spend time with a group at a meeting. At first the cravings come often and are strong, but later on they don't come as often, and if we have created other pathways we can deal with them. Just sometimes, I get caught by surprise. We can never let our guard down on the possibility of getting a craving when we don't want to drink.
love in recovery,
amanda
-- Edited by amanda2u2 at 09:51, 2007-02-18
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do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
Thank you, Carol and Amada-- Your thoughts are helpful and I appreciate your sharing them. Amanda--what you had to say feels right for me; that it will be my experience. It feels good understanding the language of others when it comes to discussing drinking. I guess that is largely what meetings are for. I wasn't going to write here again until I went to a meeting, but I've changed my mind. I get so much out of reading these posts. Thank you, Laura
