like i have said before, i was raised in a drinking culture. i have decended from a long line of boozers on both sides of the family....i tried to cut down or quit on my own, it was futile. when i finally came into the doors of aa they truly spoke my "language". the language of the heart....the big book, the meetings, the "round-ups" it all gave me something i had never had before.....i cannot even describe the gratitude, words are not enough. i, like everyone else have faced many challenges in recovery..the biggest gift has been a belief in a higher power which at this point i dont even know what to call anymore, only that is real and exists. this power speaks through all of us, most of us have had the experiance of being troubled by something and then hearing it brought up as a topic at the next 3 or 4 meetings we go to. over and over "god" shows us the way through. bless you all.
I've never understood why some people are compelled to criticize rather than just walk away. Everything in AA isn't for me, but a lot of it is and I'm grateful for that.
I see two distinct groups of people in AA (well I see all kinds of people but within that melange of personalities I see two very distinct breeds of AAers.) I see one group that are kind of sweet, group hug touchy-feely soft and fuzzy types of people and then the salty, gruff sandpaper people. (incidentally- in my family the kids that are in AA are about split between those two types, but my stepmom and grandma are both very much she soft fuzzy types. We used to tease terribly behind their backs when we were kids, and to this day we refer to the way they talk to us when giving advice as "therapist voice"- quiet, soft and even. Too funny)
I love both types. Shoot- I like all kinds of people, but in AA I've found I have a certain special affection for these people who have been through so much and are tenacious enough to try to rise above it all. It's kind of funny (and pretty interesting and very neat) to me that these people from opposite ends of the spectrum and all points between have this common ground and they all meet in the middle and work on stuff together. Probably the one place in the world where pretty much everyone follows the rules and cooperates. No wonder it scares some people. Maybe recovery is not for the narrow minded. ;)
Honestly, whether a person agrees with all of it or not, it's certainly better to try to glean even the slightest small positive thing from AA or any other resource than to be struggling with stuff on your own. For me anyhow. At the very least AA is an anchor for me- a place I know I'll be going once or twice or three times during the week to keep myself centered and on track. Beyond that there's all kinds of stuff offerred- all you have to do is listen and good stuff just practically falls into your lap.
It's really nice that there's this place for me down there (my homegroup is just down the road from mi casa) and that whenever I get the urge I can go get a little "therapy". It works for me and for that I'm grateful.
I cannot get over how good I always feel when I am at a meeting. For the first time in a very long time, I feel that I belong there and that people understand me.
I have so much gratitude for AA and for all of the wonderful things that it has given to me. For the first time ever, I have a belief in a God of my understanding. It feels good.
Thanks for reminding me how great AA is.
Take care,
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
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