Hello everyone, I read often and learn alot from this board.
I am struggling with a decision. My AH has been in and out of sobriety for 2 years. Really mostly in but the outs are devastating. It seems he overdrank for many years but there were no consequences and now he's mostly sober but one binge---and there are now legal consequences. And I completely believe he needs to face those consequences----I also believe that he and our family will be better off if he's in jail than if he continues to drink.
Alcohol is so destructive. We have 2 small children who love him so much, and he loves them and has an active role in their life. He's a good father. He's also an alcoholic who can't stay sober. I am taking care of myself and the children---I've protected our finances--he has no access. I have money set aside, not enough for long but enough for a short period. Drunks are scrappy they can binge with no money it seems. I want our children to have a family, but how long is too long?? Mostly sober over 2 years is not SOBER. Any thoughts? mom to 2 ps It's just not a great life when you cannot have any expectations of your partner. But I'm not imagining it will be a great life apart either. Being together or being apart, sober or not sober----I wish I knew what was the best choice. It's been 2 years now and I still don't know!
I originally posted this on the alanon site---looking for some insight from another perspective. Thank you all so much!
Yes! When is enough enough? It's definitely enough already. The sober periods cloud the judgement though....then the hope of recovery seeps in....you see the goodness, the love, the person. Then the disappearing act...followed by his deep despair---like I've never imagined.
I read the posts on this board and I know there is hope for recovery- for anyone, everyone. Thanks for the post. You know I've been around for awhile---and I really know that nothing changes if nothing changes. And nothing is changing---except for the worse. mom to 2
My grandmother used to say "when you've had enough, you'll know it. And only then will you do something about it". As for him serving jail time, maybe you're right, people don't change because they see the light. They change because they feel the heat. He hasn't hit bottom hard enough yet....
You're all in my prayers, hun.
-- Edited by Doll at 19:51, 2007-02-06
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
speaking as a recovering alcoholic, as long as someone was there to pick up the pieces and there was the illusion of "home" i didn't change. when i lost everything is when i became desperate enough to seek help and those meetings and steps saved me cause i had no other options.....i was desperate and therefore forced to open up my mind...accept the responsibility for my disease and "work a program".
