Next year I'm going to be better than I am now, but today I'm the best I can be.
It is quite possible to waste a lot of time and energy trying to make impossible changes. Many of us, inspired by the dynamics of the program and driven more by enthusiasm than prudence, strike out on missions that cannot be accomplished -- missions we cannot win and should never undertake.
Turning back the clock is one of these. It can't be done. Controlling someone else's behavior is another. We can set the stage for the desired behavior, encourage it, and improve the odds by getting out of the way, but we don't have it in our bag of tricks to make people think, feel, or do any one thing.
The program addresses the art of the possible. The only options we have are the options that are available to us. If our former partners don't want to reconcile with us, that's not an available option. A happily-ever-after marriage is not possible if we haven't yet learned how to have a healthy relationship. Instead, we can focus on acquiring these people skills by building to our own possibilities.
Today, I will examine my range of available choices.
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
"We can set the stage for the desired behavior, encourage it, and improve the odds by getting out of the way, but we don't have it in our bag of tricks to make people think, feel, or do any one thing."
Well said. This describes how to be 'supportive' instead of 'controlling'.
Another post for my refridgerator
love in recovery,
amanda
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do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
