We have the power to direct our minds to replace the feelings of being upset, depressed, and fearful with the feeling of inner peace. -- Gerald G. Jampolsky
Learning to identify negative thoughts is a powerful way to begin changing our negative behavior. We always think before we act, even if the thinking has become automatic.
As we become committed to being aware of negative thoughts, we can stop, take a deep breath, and repeat a positive affirmation. Practicing this process will actually change the way we feel about ourselves. By thinking about positive things, we can change how we feel about a situation and about ourselves, too. Now, life has more promise, more joy.
Today let me have the courage to change the way I think.
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
Isn't this amazing? But it is true! This, positive thinking, includes acceptance, love, patience, seeing the full half of the glass. Negative thinking includes depression, fault finding, cynicism, seeing the empty half of the glass.
So many people say, "you make me feel so bad", in one way or another. "You got me so upset." "My boss made me feel so worthless." "Look what you made me do." "It's all your fault, cuz you made me _______ ." (fill in the blank)
It is really our own thinking that brings us up or down. When faced with a problem, we can either have the attitude of, "oh, no! I don't want to have to deal with this, and it's making me feel tired just thinking about it," or, "That's a good challenge that I can turn into a good opportunity, and I'm kind of excited about it." We can look at a person who has just belittled us and think, "what a @@@@ s/he is!", or, "I can't do anything right," or, "I know I can always improve, but I'm okay. I'll try to learn and grow, and this person is also in need of improving social skills for whatever reason."
This issue,, changing from stinking thinking to positive thinking, is the biggest issue of all for me. My family was negatively oriented and so was I, and it seemed so strange to change. I had always looked at things from one perspective, and it seemed so foreign to change perspectives. But, totally worth it. This is where serenity is,,, staying on the positive side of things.
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do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
Thank you Carol! Between this post and the previous one from Phil (The Key), anyone, alcoholic or not, can take a much greater control over their life. That is so true Amanda about the "You/he/she made me feel_______" when, with great possibility, it is ourselves and our own thoughts that hurt us most (O.K. There IS the exception for thr guy that whacks you upside the head with a 2 x 4, in which case, you should show him what a nail gun can do.) We do not have a tendency to take criticism with the grain of salt that it should be...as in consider if the criticism is valid and, if so, then work at making whatever was critiqued better. Or, if not valid, disregard it. So few people I know, including myself for most of my life, are able to do that and they get truly hurt, not entirely by the other person, but by their own thought/expectations of what they think/want to hear/feel. Overcoming that is a tremendous step towards personal empowerment...empowerment over, not others, but one's self. Thank you both Carol and Phil for the posts...Tim
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"We posess the eyes through which the universe gazes with wonder upon its own majesty."
