I just delt with problems without getting drunk, and learned more about what an idiot I can be on top. I lay down, going to sleep, and keep hearing the kid is tossing and turning because she's been a little conjested. So the genius, me, gets up, finds her cough syrup, gets her some water. And since I'm half asleep, I come up with a bright idea, about half a teaspoon, eh? No problem. Shortcut. Save from stumbling into the kitchen and getting a spoon.
So I wake her up, hold her head up, and go to tip just a little into her mouth, and since she's half asleep too, she reaches out real quick like it's her bottle, grabs it, and chugs, even as her eyes open wide as plates because it's not water. So I jerked it away, and the stupid thing was half gone. So I'm wide awake now, but not much smarter.
I think, and decide I have two courses of action. Wake the whole house up driving her to the hospital, or do the dirty work myself. So I hold her over the tub and stick my finger down her throat. She screamed bloody murder, I felt lower than dog crap, and she didn't puke. So I got her to chug the cup of water, and repeated. She ralfed it all up real good, problem solved. I never wanna see looks coming from a two year old again that she gave me while I cleaned her up and brushed her teeth. It would drop a fly out the sky. So I hold her until she likes me just a little bit again, tuck her back in. Then, of course, since she puked, I decided she needed water and gave her her bottle. She's chugging away, I'm going back to bed, and BLAH. All over the place.
I get up cursing the day of my birth, and she's gonna have to have a whole bath this time, and the whole baby bed cleaned. She hates baths, and this time, hold her all I want, that glare never left her eyes after I finally got her tucked back in a clean bed with clean blankets. Kind of like that kid in 'the ring'. So it's two thirty in the morning, I'm still up listening to her sleep, and reveiwing my lessons. First, there's no shortcuts with kids, and you have enough trouble just doing things right, second, kids are quick and unpredictable, you must expect the unexpected. And third, when things start going haywire, if possible swallow you pride and go find the nearest woman. I could have gone and woke my sister up, and admitted my powerlessness over the situation, she would have took charge and made everything better.
But I didn't have to get drunk over it. Maybe she'll like me again in the morning, she's snoozing and ok now, and I'm doing laundry at 2:30 in the morning.
"When many hundreds of people are able to say that consciousness of the Presence of God is today the most important fact of their lives, they present a powerful reason why one should have faith."
-We agnostics in the AA book
Sorry for your tough night. I've got a two year-old daughter, too. Her name is Sheila. While your email was a cautionary tale for me, it also made me think that you are probably a great dad. You care. Hang in there and yeah - you didn't drink over it.
Those are good lessons to learn. I'm writing them down for myself too. Parenting is a learn as we go thing. I'll make a much better grandmother. Thank you for your honest share. I'm sure you will be forgiven. That is so much the key to successful ongoing relationships - forgiveness as we plod along humanly. You made your amends, and can let that lesson go into yesterday now too. We are all a bit wiser than yesterday, eh?
love in recovery,
amanda
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do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
All will be OK. Good thing about kids, they bounce back pretty easy.....Lesson learned. No biggie. Don't beat yourself up over it..........Have many of those 'stories' myself, but whilst I was still out!........Be grateful for the outcome, you didn't drink over it......Give her lots of extra hugs and kisses today.
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
you handled it fine.....i've been a single parent in recovery for 12 years now and did'nt exactly have much to go on in the way of experiance with kids when i became a mother....at 2 years old they are still such babies and u cant explain stuff to them like an older kid...when my son was that age he hated baths so much he would scream like i was dropping him into a vat of acid and i was in fear neighbors would be phoneing the police! to give him some cough medicine when he was sick, i had to pin him down kinda like a wrestlers hold...i did laundry in the middle of the night too. i could go on and on......it gets easier when they start talking good. u can at try to explain yourself and apologize.....lol .....i had a lot of self doubt about being able to do it , i mean bring up a child alone but it seems to be going well, he does good in school , the teachers like him he has friends and is just a very calm.. happy kid. much to my surprise. so i guess it's the same old story...we do better than we think. im so glad you're a sober parent. dont forget to talk to other single parents in recovery, we can share our experiance strength and hope on that level too! love ya ryan.
She was not very happy with me this morning. Instead of jumping up with a grin on her face, reaching for me to pick her up like usual, just looked over at the wall. We're off to a birthday party. I should have 'syrup of ipicrap' on hand for situations like last night, my sister told me. Lesson learned. Thanks, have a sober day all.
Oh my gosh, does this ever take me back! Sean drinking cinnamon scented kerosene, and me bending over him, pregnant with my third one, no phone, no car, and my Dad just stopping by and taking us to the ER. Gina, eating one of those old fashioned white crystal thingees that hung in toilets cuz it was "pretty". Sean blasting pepper spray in his eyes at four in the morning. David climbing to the highest shelf over the stove to eat a bottle of iron fortified Flinstone vitamins. Ipecac, I sure kept it around once those kids got big enough to explore. Usually at some ungodly hour of the night. Parenting, yup, it's doing the best we can. And they always make it worth it. In time (like a few years) you can look back at it and laugh, but wow, it sure is scary when it's happening. Remember to write it down in a journal, and when she brings home the guy she's gonna marry, have him read it. This is just the first of the many adventures of raising your child....Chris
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"Never argue with an idiot... They'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience..."
Those are good lessons to learn. I'm writing them down for myself too. Parenting is a learn as we go thing.
amanda
Man, I wish I had my parenting instruction booklet right now!
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"When many hundreds of people are able to say that consciousness of the Presence of God is today the most important fact of their lives, they present a powerful reason why one should have faith."
-We agnostics in the AA book
hey Ryan I'm a newcomer and just posted for the first time. I cried my eyes out the whole time. Then I read your post and it made me laugh. Im going to be a first time parent this summer but i'm also a pediatric nurse. I get that look all the time! Even though they're not mine it still hurts. Kids are great they don't know how to hold a grudge. Just a tip Ipecac syrup is no longer recommended to be kept in the home. The idea is that god forbid your little one gets into something your unsure of. Sometimes making them vomit can have much more serious consequences. Its ok to keep it in the house but dont use it until you contact poison control. They have an 800 # thats available 24/7.
