I am asking for everyone's prayers today. I have two very dear friends that are having issues. They both are in the program. I found a possible indication of both them possibly using. And, I am concerned about them. They both have 2 boys a piece and I just would like for all of us to send up a little prayer. That God will return them to their higher self.
I know in this program you will find you can not make anyone stay. Just, be there if and when they return. Or pray for them that they will remain strong in their recovery. One of them said he does not understand how I can love him the way I do. I love everyone it really does not matter who what or where they are in life. I learned that once you find love for yourself you can love and care for anyone no matter what. Love is all we have in and out of this program. love is what created this world. However, fear and illusions that we create destroy it. Of course, that is my option. When all you are use to is to hide behide something or someone. When you are afraid to face what is in front of you. We fool ourselves into thinking we are nothing we have nothing and we will never be anything.
You know for me God does not make mistakes. He gives us lessons. It matters not whether we are willing to accept them right away. He will put us in the same situations with different people until we learn who and what we are to be. Today, I am so grateful to wake up clean and sober. However, my heart is sadden by the choices my loved ones have made. I know I can not change them. That is God's job. I know I can not make them want to be apart of the fellowship. All, I can do is to pray for God's will to be done. And, that is what I am asking for today. Prayers for two of the most important people in my life and for their family. I thank all you for that. May we all through our Higher Powers remain sober and clean for today. God Bless all of you
I don't know these people, and still I can point one thing out they have, and would be fools not to recognize. That's the friendship and concern of someone like you. But then again, we have been the rarest sort of fools, it's what got us here, and what hopefully will bring them back.
"I love everyone...it really does not matter who what or where they are in life." That's a tough row to hoe sometimes. I know, because it's me too. They are so very fortunate to have a friend in you. My best hopes go out to them and to you Melissa...Tim
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"We posess the eyes through which the universe gazes with wonder upon its own majesty."
what a powerful share! I can so relate to that, from both ends!
There was no understanding of what "love" means in my family of origin. Our parents didn't know each other when they got married, and I was born right away. Their later problems were considered my 'fault'. My mom did not want my sister, and we were all in foster homes for the year following my brother's birth. When I reached my teenage years we were all being abused, and my parents fought constantly. After returning from another foster home, one day I asked my father why he didn't love me. I was told that I was unlovable.
Out on my own, I found myself unprepared. I became suicidal - "Janis Joplin" . If someone treated my kindly I thought it was weird. I got myself associated with another alcoholic where I would be treated more like I was used to being treated. I didn't care about myself, and didn't expect anybody to care about me. I didn't understand what real Love is. I had a baby and I really wanted to be a good mother. My child has been the only reason that I am still here on this earth, and sober.
Through Steps 2 and 3, and 11, I have come to have a different understanding of God. God is Love. That is so totally amazing to me! Love exists! God is Love! (as I am coming to understand Him). This dawned on me18 years ago, and teh sun is still rising on this. But I find that there are others who understand this better than I do, and live it out better than I do, while there are others who are now where I was,,, in the dark. They don't understand Love, or my love, and don 't know how to respond to Love, as I didn't, and am still learniing about.
It seems to me, that you have 'gotten' the program now, and that that is the key, Love through our Higher Power,, for ourselves and for others. What can we do? Step 12. That is what Step 12 is about. It's not about being a great person so that I can teach others to be like me, and listen to me. It's about helping others to know that they are Loved, and we do that by sharing our experience of learning that .
Love makes us really care about the beloved as priceless precious treasures, and we let them know that,,, as we needed to know that. Love doesn't have to be manipulated or controlled to do good, but needs to be free to Be . The seed of Love is something awesaom, and watching it grow is awesome. But you are right that we can't do that, we can support the growth of a plant, but it is God who really does it. Even letting them know that you are praying for them, while letting go of control and letting them and God do things in their own time and way, is something that shows your Love.
love in recovery,
amanda
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do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
