I have to disagree with that. Humiliation taught me humility. If our ways where right, we would not be in the fix we found ourselves. We are not saints, and I dont think anyone comes in without a bag full of ill and selfish intentions, operating out of self-constructed principles and motives that are as changing as how we happen to feel at the moment. Most of us -die- in the resulting consequences of our behavior and decisions. And rightly so. What would the reward be for doing well? Our program is that still living, we have a chance to turn it around if we are willing. The soft, mushy, comfortable, DISHONEST path of telling someone that they are really a 'good' person, and nothing is their fault, is temporary, false comfort as they stumble toward their grave. Not knowing any better does not excuse our condition. Even born into it is no excuse. If my father worked hard and left me money, would I not rightly take hold of my inheritance? Who could tell me it is not mine? Would my concience? No. And just the same, I am responsible for the bad that I inherited by blood. My concious confirms it.
I argued and pleaded my innocence with God to the point of broken minded-insanity. I had a good case.
I would have convinced you.
He didn't budge. Truth is truth whether I lived or died, it wasn't going to change for me.
That is why it takes us having been there to be capable of understanding, tolerating and helping the disgusting creature that crawls in the door. Half of the shiver of revulsion we feel taking this sight in is seeing ourselves.
And it is then looking inside that we find ourselves honestly -capable- of loving this person that deserves nothing of the kind. It comes from truth and understanding, not something we conjure up because it's a really feel-good right thing to do. Exactly the opposite. It's often the most difficult thing we do.
When I spoke some of the things I had been through, done, and seen, and my sponsor didn't even blink, just pointing out profoundly simple truths from his own similar experiences, bringing light to what hid in the darkness of my mind, and simply by listening shouldering a share of the load. This is the love of our program. No one else could have done this. Mother Teresa couldn't have done it. She was never there. and if she had tried, it would have been dishonest. There is no love in dishonesty.

Humiliation is a key ingredient in the recipe that saved my life. I picked up buckets of white chips over the year or so I stumbled in and out. One of the points that stand out is stumbling into a meeting drunk one night. Bitching, moaning, blubbering about suicide, whooped.
And then I got to the point. Somehow a thousand meetings and I must have missed it. Just HOW, again, EXACTLY do you people get sober I asked. Every eye in the room was on me. I was a sight.
An old fellow in that meeting looked me dead in the eye. First, stop feeling sorry for yourself. No one in this room feels sorry for you.
That truth cut right through all the b.s.. I remember stammering a thank you.
The next day, in and out of the d.t.'s I struggled with, drinking as soon as they where over only to stop again, I could have died from the humiliation of what I had done last night. I could have shrunk and dissappeared right there, with no one around the humiliation was so powerful.
And then something rose in my gut, telling me, if I was going to make it, I had to take it. And I had to face that room again. Go in there 'sober', half in d.t.'s and face them all again. I did.
It was out of humiliation I found the humility to listen.
And it was in the humiliating failure of my reliance in self that I became capable of relying on God.

Proverbs 27:6
"Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses."