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Post Info TOPIC: how much does it take?


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how much does it take?
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Hi everyone,


My ex bf is an alcoholic. I am an alanoner, and I have gotton some great advice from you in the past. I was hoping you would help me again.


I left my bf a few weeks ago. His binges were too much for me, almost constant disappearing and drinking. I got a new place and left. I felt it was all I could do. It was a very hard thing to do nonetheless.


Anyway, he is now alone in this apartment. He is drinking himself to death as far as I can see. Cans, bottles everywhere, and all the rest. He's not eating much. He's very argumentitive and really resents me. I don't see him much, I had to chose not to, it's all too much for me.


However I am worried, and I know how futile that is. I just don't know how far this can go. I do not want to step in to "save" him. I do not want to stop him reaching his bottom ofcourse. But what do I do? do I let him kill himself? Should I be intervening in some way? Is there a way?


I have told his parents about his drinking and the fact that we broke up. I felt I had no choice. It was just too much for me to deal with alone.


I would very much appreciate your opinions, thanks.


AM



-- Edited by annmarie at 06:12, 2007-01-05

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MIP Old Timer

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annmarie wrote:



 But what do I do? do I let him kill himself?



Unfortunately, hun, only HE can save himself.........You have no power......Pray for him the gift of desperation..........and take care of yourself.....((((AM))))

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MIP Old Timer

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Well..Heres my take on it...and some might not agree agree with it...


You mentioned the word.."Intervention"


Two years ago..a lady came on here...her husband had been locked in a bedroom for over 2 weeks...


When she went to work..he would head for the corner store..


After 18 days...a couple of people on here...asked her to intervene..and get him out of there..


She called an ambulance at 11 pm...he died in the hospital at 315 am the same night..


I will never forget that night as long I live..


If I thought that there was a possibility of him harming himself or ending it all..I would intervene...


I would grab a couple of AA 12 steppers..and ask them to knock on the door...ASAP...to ask him if he would like some help..


And take it from there...


I have been there...and was on a suicide mission..and wanted to die..and set out to do so...and there was no turning back..


But for the Grace of a few people in AA..and some kind of a Higher Power...that did not happen..


I watched a buddy..a couple of years ago...survive on beer for 5 weeks...24 hours a day...


Then he switched to hard stuff...5 days later we found him in his bed...


Im done...



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"LOVE" devoid of self-gratification, is in essence, the will, to the greatest good...of another.


MIP Old Timer

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All I can say is that the desire to stop drinking and wanting a better way of life had to come from me. My boyfriend loves me dearly, but there was nothing that he could do or say that could stop me from taking that next drink. I had to hit my own rock bottom and want out of my alcoholic hell for me.

Phil mentioned grabbing a couple of 12 steppers and you could think about that if you are truly worried about your ex seriously harming himself. There is always somebody willing to help.

Whatever you do or don't do, please look after yourself, won't you?

Take care and please let us know how it is going for you.

Carol

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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss


Veteran Member

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thank you for your replies,


he had a suicide attempt a few years ago and this is of great concern to me. at the moment he hates me, blames me for leaving him and everything else.


I have a lot to think about. thanks for your support. please pray for him through this.


AM



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