I'm being as stupid as I was when I was drinking lately... apparently I'm very good at hurting people right now... I don't think the divorce is stupidity at all, that's the one thing I'm sure of... in a way this possibility of going into a new relationship might be stupidity... but we're taking it slow, not rushing things... need to take things very slow until I get my year sober at least... but I did something else stupid and hurt 2 people in the process... my ex, and the guy I'm moving in with... *sigh* I'm not letting myself beat up on myself over it though... it happened, it's in the past, all I can do is move forward. But I do still kinda regret it. Wondering what I'm thinking lately to make me do something like that. Honestly I just wasn't thinking, just like when I drank, I just didn't think. It's probably because my emotions are all over the place right now... and part of me is testing out this newfound freedom of being single... but I don't need to fall back into any old habits and I realize that now. I'm being more careful, trying to think before I do things... realizing how much I hurt my friend/boyfriend/roommate/whatever he is... it kinda slapped me in the face with what I'm doing, how I'm acting. Made me realize I need to think more about others feelings and not just think of myself. I'm not usually this selfish and inconsiderate. I don't know what was going on with me new year's eve besides the fact that I just wasn't thinking... I was reacting to the fact that my ex really pissed me off... and that wasn't any kind of reason to do what I did. Sorry, I'm rambling... What is it, we will not regret the past or wish to shut the door on it... I guess right now I am kinda regretting what I did, but realizing I can learn from it and move on, and I don't wish to shut the door on it. Ok, I'll stop my rambling now... lol