You've told me I should pray for someone who's been causing me all sorts of problems. But that's not going to change that person, is it?
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I've heard various descriptions of how prayer works. Some say God listens, some say our thoughts affect the energy of the universe and create change; some say that we're conditioning ourselves to transform our own attitudes, and that attitudes, good and bad, are contagious. It's a mystery but it does work.
Someone I worked with seemed so disrespectful and unpleasant that I dreaded encounters with her. I began saying a daily prayer for her health and complete happiness. Before gatherings that included her, I prayed that communication between us would be easy and smooth and that each person's highest good in that situation would be realized. The effects were dramatic. I experienced relief from my fear of facing her and began to see her as a whole human being. I genuinely began to want her well-being. For whatever reason, she stopped turning her back on me and sometimes actually smiled.
I'm not suggesting that we try to manipulate others to behave as we wish. Specific results and timetables aren't in our hands. But I do know that our prayers are always effective in furthering our own and others' processes of healing.
Today, I pray for others, placing them in my Higher Power's hands.
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
Good post, Carol, and it is so true. I used to reach a certain stage in toxic encounters, where years ago I would have screamed in their face. It was such an eye opener for me, after coming to the program, and people suggested prayer for these encounters. I thought, why in the world would I want to pray for some fool? I finally "got it". When I hand over some unpleasant person to my Higher Power, I'm finally admitting that I have no power over this person, no way to change their outlook, or make them healthy. I can talk and fuss forever, but that isn't going to change a thing, except aggravate an ulcer. So I finally tried prayer. What a difference. Still didn't change the other person, but oh, how it changed me and my outlook! The more I pray for this sick person's mental health, the softer my heart becomes. The destructive anger was hurting nobody but me. As the post says, after prayer and "handing over" a negative relationship to my Higher Power, I soften and can view things more objectively, recognizing that only my HP has any real strength in these issues. And when that subtle change takes place in my thinking, I relinquish control, and I can also see the sadness in another person, at the same time seeing the junk in me that attracted the situation in the first place. People can only effect me if I allow it, and so I need to question why I allowed it in the first place. Many times I've had to hand over my own self to my HP when I recognise myself becoming toxic. In the end, that person no longer has power to effect my feelings, so the change has been made inside of me, and I can pray that someday the person I've allowed to effect my serenity will find peace themselves. It's a full circle blessing. If only my husband knew how often, LOL....hugs, wren
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"Never argue with an idiot... They'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience..."
wow! What great timing. I really needed to see just this right now. I make a new thread about the amends I made today, but this person that I got into a 'thing' with yesterday fits right in here. I'm gonna read this again, and again. The thing is,, this person is actually a lot like me! What they say is true! What bothers us the most sometimes are people with the same faults.
I didn't use to know God was trustworthy to turn things over to, and I thought I had to defend myself and fight to survive,, and I wanted things to be completely resolved, now. The fear and frustration were overwhelming, as was the trauma.
The prayers keep me in a positive mode, instead of steamng and stewing like a pressure cooker, about to explode. Ever see a pressure cooker explode? Not a pretty sight.
amanda
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do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
