We went to my nephew's christmas program last night, and wound up sitting right next to someone I hadn't seen since I was a child - the woman my dad cheated on my mom with. I had to talk to her and be nice and civil, it was really awkward and uncomfortable and brought back old resentments toward her and my dad.... not to mention I had a 7 year old alter inside who has never gotten over the divorce and was very upset about seeing this woman and has been crying so much since then. I thought when my dad finally settled down with the woman he's with now, and to my knowledge isn't cheating on her, I thought that resentment finally subsided and went away... but apparently I still have a lot of resentment towards him, I hadn't seen this woman since my mom told me that's who my dad cheated with, she worked with my dad, and I stopped going to work with my dad then so I wouldn't have to see her. So now I'm dealing with my anger and resentment, on top of a very hurt little 7 year old girl inside, who's abandonment issues are worse since seeing this woman, and now she's scared my husband might leave us like our dad left our mom *sigh* it's not enough to have to deal with my own feelings about it, I have my little alter's feelings to deal with as well
Hi Lisa, I hope this doesn't sound as though I'm being a hard-ass. I'm not, and it's not meant that way. What happened with your father and "the other woman" is in the past. Both you and the seven year old must realize that it was, and is now, beyond your control to change anything that happened in the past. It's gone. If you hold this and carry the resentment with you it amounts to excess baggage. Both have to let it go or it will continue to harm you. "Let go, Let God". I hope that for your own peace you can look at the past with some apathy, knowing that it has been what it was and won't live again unless you give it life. With love...Tim
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