There was a post last year, somewhere, that really made a difference in my enjoyment of the holidays,,, and I'd like to share the concept with you all now:
We often have ideas about what the holidays are 'supposed to' be. Family is supposed to get together. We are supposed to have a nice big dinner in peace together. We are supposed to give good gifts and get wonderful ones. The days are supposed to be 'different' than normal life,, like a taste of heaven or something. We are supposed to have nice clothes to dress specially in. If we are the hosts or hostesses, then we are supposed to provide a good dinner and be 'entertaining'. Uncle Will will not argue this year. Aunt Sally will stay sober. My alienated brother will come home. My kids will behave. Etc.
But these ideals are never realized. Aunt Sally does get drunk, and Uncle Will does pick fights. The turkey did not come out right. The kids were running around and knocked Grandpa over and he cracked a hip. I got totally stressed out and wanted to just run away from home, so I was not very entertaining. My brother did call,, to ask for bail.
If we let go of the unrealistic expectations and accept whatever happens, we do better. We can look at the positive things that happen, and be grateful for those. My brother is off the streets, and alive. My kids have a warm house and food to eat, and they are average kids. Uncle Will has strong convictions, but we know to take it with a grain of salt. We do have to deal with Grandpa's broken hip, and Aunt Sally's alcoholism, but we don't have to be devastated.
So, last year, I relaxed and just did the best I could, repeating the Serenity Prayer. I had a 'good' holiday season,, not 'perfect',, but good is GOOD! I'm going to do the same thing this year.
love in recovery ,
amanda
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do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
Thank you, Amanda. This year is going to be a difficult season for me for various reasons, and I really really needed to read this. It's so simple, isn't it? Just be grateful for what is, and drop the expectations of how I perceive it should be. warmly, Chris
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"Never argue with an idiot... They'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience..."
Thanks for that. It's not just the 'festive season' that I need to address, but a lot of day to day situations. But, I love the simple concept of letting go of the unreasonable expectations and enjoying the good things. Expectation up = serenity down.
Take care,
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
