Got this sent to me, hope you enjoy it. lol, takes one away from thinkin
Finally! -- a Blonde GUY Joke!
Blonde guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting. "What's up?" he says. "I'm having a heart attack," cries the woman. He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says: "Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on!" The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor. "You rotten bastard," says the husband, "my wife's having a heart attack and you're running around naked scaring the kids!"
Men
Q: What's the best way to kill a man? A: Put a naked woman and a six-pack in front of him. Then tell him to pick only one.
Q: Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet? A: Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
Q: What is the difference between men and women:.... A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need... A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.
Q: How does a man keep his youth? A: By giving her money, furs and diamonds.
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? A: Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals"
Send this to five bright, funny women you know and make their day!!
And guy's that can handle it.
P.S. - AT LEAST FINDING 5 BRIGHT, FUNNY WOMEN IS POSSIBLE!
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Ma and Pa were two hillbillies living in West Virginia out on a farm up in the hills.
Pa has found out that the hole under the outhouse is full. He goes into the house and tells Ma that he doesn't know what to do to empty the hole.
Ma says, "Why don't you go ask the young'n down the road? He must be smart 'cause he's a college gradjyate."
So Pa drives down to the neighbour's house and asks him, "Mr. College gradjyate, my outhouse hole is full, and I don't know what to do to empty it."
The young'n tells him, "Get yourself two sticks of dynamite, one with a short fuse and one with a long fuse. Put them both under the outhouse and light them both at the same time. The first one will go off and shoot the outhouse in the air. While it's in the air the second one will then go off and spread the poop all across your farm, fertilizing your ground. The outhouse should then come back down to the same spot atop the now-empty hole.."
Pa thanks the neighbor, then drives to the hardware store and picks up two sticks of dynamite, one with a short fuse and one with a long fuse.
He goes home and puts them under the outhouse. He then lights them and runs behind a tree.
All of a sudden, Ma comes running out of the house and into the outhouse!
Off goes the first stick of dynamite ... shooting the outhouse into the air.
BOOM! Off goes the second stick of dynamite ... spreading poop all over the farm.
WHAM! The outhouse comes crashing back down atop the hole.....
Pa races to the outhouse, throws open the door and asks, "Ma, are you all right??!!"
As she pulls up her panties she says... "Yeah, but I'm sure glad I didn't fart in the kitchen.
