suffering sucks, i hate that part of recovery. it seems necessary to process the emotions however, cause if you dont they come out sideways and it can get self destructive. sometimes i dont get why it has to hurt so much then something happens to show me the reasons. there is always reasons and its always for my greater good. i dont know why i havent felt the need to relapse when ive been in emotional pain. i guess i did a good step one two and three. when they read how it works i believe it, and it is just for today, i can always manage if its just today i need to get through, which helps to know when its not a good day. yesterday a friend of mine called, she had 6 yrs before she relasped, her daughter is in my sons class. we brought our babies to meeting together and were good friends in recovery, now she is living in a homeless shelter and has severe mental illness from her drug of choice. there but for the grace of god go i. so today i am so grateful for the joys of life, my home seems more precious, my mental health, the structure and routine feels good today. my kittys love and trust seems special. and getting my son off to school. its just overwhelming, i have so much and all i had to do was not pick up. so today im grateful for all my feelings good and bad. of course good is better! hope u all have a great day, love ya
Yes, suffering does suck! Today, I have had so many horrible, negative feelings that I am exhausted with them. I guess it is to do with the time of the year and knowing that I will be on my own because of my drinking. My alcoholism drove my boyfriend away. He couldn't stay with me and watch me self-destruct and take everyone down with me. It was the very best decision that he could have made. It finally made me face things.
But, I know that I have to hurt in order to start the healing process. I do have so much to be grateful for today if I will only open my eyes and my heart and look. My boyfriend and I have chatted for over four hours on the 'phone today and we can't wait to be together again; I have some wonderful friends now, in and out of AA; I am earning trust and respect again.
But, most importantly, I am sober today. With the help of God, I will be sober tomorrow. Even a bad, sober day is infinitely better than a good, drunken day. Thank you for reminding me of that.
Take care,
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
"Even a bad sober day is better than a good drunken day."
Thanks for sharing that, cindy - there but for the grace of God go I. I also know some people that I have had a lot in common with, that took the different road and are now sad, bitter, lonely and messed up people, whether or not they have a lot of material things. And we are getting older now, taking stock of our lives. We look at the end of another year, and to the beginning of the next one. What have we accomplished?
Some of us have come into a Serenity that some others don't have. It has been given to us by our Higher Power, as we come to trust and follow Him, but we have also worked very, very hard to try to take each moment and each day to do the 'next best thing'. I am more at peace with myself, and my son, and some key people who have been my friends along life's journey. As for the others? That's God's business, not mine. I pray for them, and try to be as positive as possible with them, as Step 12 suggests. But I don't try to control them, or judge them. As you do, Cindy, I feel compassion for them, knowing that I could have easily gone the same way.
love in recovery,
amanda
-- Edited by amanda2u2 at 09:26, 2006-12-09
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do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
