went to my first AA convention tonight... it was really cool... my sponsor had told me it would be so awesome to hear so many people saying the serenity prayer together, but I didn't see what would be so cool about that... but 678 people saying the serenity prayer and the lord's prayer together was just sooo awesome, so powerful! I was kinda on a high all night, enjoying myself, having fun, went to dinner with my sponsor and some people from my homegroup after the meeting and had fun just goofing off with them.

I'm coming down from that "high" though, I've been doing good for quite awhile, even with all the crap I'm dealing with, I've been handling it. And it just hit me tonight not too long ago, my mood suddenly dropped. I'm praying I wake up tomorrow and everything's fine again. And when I get down... I try to stay more positive, try not to dwell in it, but at the same time I know when I'm down that's when I'm going to have more flashbacks, or when I'm going to dissociate, I've dissociated the past two nights and it's REALLY scary and leads to bad things.

I'm going to the convention tomorrow too, plan to go out there once I get up and have my coffee and all that, so it'll be an all afternoon/evening thing for me. Hopefully that will bring me back up again. *crosses fingers* I have no idea what the itenerary is tomorrow, I haven't gotten a program or anything, but my sponsor will be there all day and I'll find her and she'll tell me what's going on.