Well I do guess this is related to Recovery, all of our "little" problems are, really...at least to me they are.
Had some real surprises this week, once, twice, and then the third on, seemed to grab me right by the throat.
As some of you know, my darling Puppie, is coming this week, and have been managing all the expenses of this new adventure, had it handled pretty well, then another expense that was unforseen came up, dug in and found a way to handle this second big expense, just barely, and then yesterday, in a conversation about some Medical stuff that I have to have, found out that my cost on this was going to be a duzzy. And to boot, it has to be paid tomorrow.
Ok. I can get creative here, start juggling these things around and fit some parts into my November expenses. The Big Problem for me is that, that old bottom line stuff, can really get you going, in the FEAR Department.
Sat down, did some quiet Meditation, and was listenening to an old tape, in my little head, of BE STILL!! and KNOW THAT I AM GOD. That helps to repeat, and repeat that listening to that Montra in my head.
Every thing will be o.k., Powerlessness, Trusting in God, that I can do easily, woke up this morning, and realized I was rather imobilized, not from anything real, but that Fear had put me almost in a Freeze. UGH. I think I am defrosting, and thought if I wrote about it, it might help the defrosting Process, kind of like how we use to use our Hair Dryer's to speed up the defrost cycle in those old refrigerators, Ha Ha. Now it seems like I can find some humor here, well first in just posting my own silly little details here on MIP.
Yep, now I have got it, make a Gratitude List this Afternoon, now that I can think Straight.
I really don't like the emotion of Fear, who does, and have to Respect it as one of those Friggen emotions that will just come up behind you, like a Boggy man. and say the Big, BOO!!!
Ok. Ok, Now I think I understand, it is just visiting for Friday the 13th, I always thought for myself that Friday the 13th was a Lucky Day.
Bla, Bla, Bla, Bla, Bla, Bla, Bla, Bla, Bla, Bla, Bla, Bla, Bla. Bla. HAHA. Once someone sent me an email that had about 10,000 Bla Bla Bla's on it, one of the funniest emails to date.
When I quit drinking I had no idea of what any feeling felt like. The first time I truly "felt" fear - I was excited. I could still feel! This is what fear feels like!
Over time, I didn't care for the feeling... but I am still grateful that I can feel it...
I hope you can find a solution to the problem you are facing. Don't know what you are dealing with exactly, but I know a lot of humble phone calls have helped me in the past to give me a little more time to make good on a bill. Financial stuff really is a HUGE fear-creating thing. Sounds like you are doing the right spiritual things to get through the discomfort. And just remember, WE are the ones stuck thinking 'inside the box'. God exists outside it, and can take care of anything!!
Take care, and I sense maybe a small miracle might take place here...?? even just if just in our thinking? You sure have reported many-a-miracle since I've been on this board. Why should something having to do with money be any different? I am hoping for the BEST for you!! Best best best wishes to you on this!!!