The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
 

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
 

Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
 
The best way to keep one's word is not to give it.
When we remember we are all a bit insane, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.

 
Never express yourself more clearly than you are able to think
 
You will do foolish things, but do them with enthusiasm
 
First learn the meaning of what you say, and then speak
 
And the last ones for Baloney...
 
California is a fine place to live--if you happen to be an orange
 
Truck on...watch out for Turnip Trucks...