my name is shaun and im an alcoholic.new to this site but nice to be part of it.just thought id touch base.i have some problems with forgiving myself and would like some feedback, if i could.This will take some time to type but i will come back shortly...shaun u.k
The nature of being human is being imperfect. We, as human beings, make mistakes every day. Making mistakes can be a great learning experience.
Finding out how not to do something can be as important as discovering the correct way to do it. Some of the world’s greatest discoveries and inventions were the results of mistakes. The critical part in learning from our mistakes lies in how we deal with ourselves in relation to our mistakes. Forgiving ourselves tends to be very difficult for some of us. Often, we will beat ourselves up for doing the very thing that human beings are famous for- making mistakes. There will be times when we make errors in judgment. We may have acted impulsively- consciously or unconsciously hurting others, hurting ourselves, or both. Or, we may have acted after careful thought and consideration- and still made a mistake. Once our mistakes are made, we can choose how they affect us. Either we can spend a lifetime agonizing over our mistakes or we can name it, claim it, and let it go!
Name it: This step requires that we identify our role in making the mistake. Either we make a poor decision, acted incorrectly, or did nothing- which itself is a choice. Identifying our role helps us to look at the situation more clearly and not waste time blaming others for our actions.
Claim it: This step asks that we take responsibility for our mistake. Once we claim it, it no longer has the power to haunt us. We have also learned how not to do something- which can be knowledge used for dealing with future situations.
Let it go: This step can be the most difficult- especially if we have to live with the consequences of our actions. There are always consequences from mistakes. Some consequences are insignificant, while other mistakes can change the course of our lives. Letting go of our mistakes means letting go of the negative feelings associated with making mistakes- shame, disappointment, anger, regret, etc. Letting go of the negative feelings also frees us to deal with life after the mistake- whatever that may entail. Embrace yourself and be forgiving!
__________________
"LOVE" devoid of self-gratification, is in essence, the will, to the greatest good...of another.
My name is Carol and I'm an alcoholic. Welcome to MIP. I know that I always say it, but it is a great place to be. There are lots of super people here all helping each other. It really adds to my sobriety, but not in the same way as face to face meetings.
I doubt, very much, that you are alone in finding it hard to forgive yourself. I find it hard, too. But, I'm working the program to the best of my ability and I have a super sponsor. It really does get better and easier.
Take care of yourself and let us know how it is going for you, won't you?
Carol
__________________
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
