At least that's the stage I'm in right now...then it's usually followed by the "Why did I ever think I had a problem?" stage which precedes the "Wow those AA people are sure f**ked up!" stage. With the grand finally being the "I'm going for a beer or two just like any other normal person does"....
Actually I think I just found part of the answer in another thread.
Thank you Quetzal
"Step 1 Worksheet
Have you seriously damaged your relationships with other people because of your addictive behaviours? If so, list the relationships and how you damaged them.
If other people have told you how you how your have hurt them, then write down what they said.
Describe any missed appointments that resulted from your addictive behaviours.
Describe any memory lapses where you cannot account for where you were.
Describe any times that you cannot recall how you got home.
Describe times and ways that you have significantly neglected or damaged relationships with your loved ones in order to indulge in your addictive behaviours or because you were recovering from your addictive behaviours.
Describe any illnesses that have resulted from your addictive behaviours.
If your addictive behaviour contributed to excessive spending, describe the situations and why you did it.
Describe times that you have withdrawn from social interaction and isolated yourself to an extreme degree and why.
Describe incidents where you expressed inappropriate anger towards other people.
Describe embarrassing or humiliating incidents in your life. Were they related to your addictive behaviours? If so, how were they related?
Describe attempts that you have made in the past to control your addictive behaviors. How successful have they been? Do these attempts show the powerlessness that you have over your addictive behaviours?
Do you feel any remorse from the ways that you have acted in your life? If so, explain that in detail.
Describe any irrational or crazy set of events that have happened since you began you addictive behaviour. Did you rationalize this behaviour? If so, in what way?
Have you avoided people because they did not share in or approve of your addictive behaviour? If so, list these people and situations.
Describe any dreams that you have had that exhibit the unmanageability or chaos of your life.
Can you pinpoint one time period in your life when your life began to become extremely unmanageable? If so, describe that period of time and what was happening.
Is there one incident or insight that made you realize that your life was unmanageable? If so, describe it in detail.
How would you summarize the powerlessness and unmanageability of your life in the face of your addiction?"
I wanted to reach right thru my monitor and grab you around the neck and proceed to wring until crosseyed when I read the title to this thread. I collected myself, and I breathed a sigh of relief when I read. Heheh. Funny thing happened when I left AA the first time. I stood right up my first meeting and told everyone I wanted to be as good a feller as if I had never drank. And some old lady smiled and told me I would be better. But this better didnt work the way I thought it should. As a matter of fact, the more I came, the more everything stopped working the way it was supposed to. The way it was supposed to work was called 'my way'. So I left. Along with AA, I threw out God. I know now it was where He directed me for help, and, rejecting them, in a way, I rejected God. So, as natural as the day, I returned slowly but surely to my old higher power. Alkyhol. And it was powerful. It had worked all my life. Damned if the time came it began to not work the way it was supposed to anymore... And when I came stumbling back, actually you people found me a year after leaving, and half drug me back by the ear. Found me sitting on my floor, no utilities or furniture, wife and kids long gone, empty cans covering every surface, empty 30 pack cases stacked as high as the fridge. I think I made a couch out of beer cans once, and I was proud of my couch. And you people. First time around I began waking up to things I didnt like. I decided yall where doing it to me. Some help. And then the second time around. dragging back in there, to add insult to injury, you people kicked my crutch(self-pity) out from under me and told me to walk. Thank you. Hey Tips- you have a beach, and you have bait.(that small dog) SSSSSUUUURRRRFFFFF FFFIIISSSHHH!!!!! Thats what you got to yell as you crash into the waves at full speed, holding the fishing pole up in both hands like a samuri sword. Gotta yell it right from the gut kinda like pantera's lead singer, Philip Anselmo, when he hollers whooooaaaaa! And then out there, neck deep on the last sand bar, when you hook into something that jerks you off your feet, and then your line goes slack because it 's rushing right for you, 2 foot dorsal fin cutting the surface, you might find a higher power.
RyanS wrote: I wanted to reach right thru my monitor and grab you around the neck and proceed to wring until crosseyed ............
Uh-huh! ............. Just wait
Tipsy, it's your disease talking to ya, my friend......You gotta stop listening to it and like Ryan said, get busy doing other stuff.............go to a meeting instead of a bar.....it took practice to drink, it's gonna take practice to stop............
-- Edited by Doll at 16:13, 2006-10-10
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
Your'e right, my my alcoholism does talk to me, it whispers things in my ear like "Wouldn't watching the big fight be more fun at a pub with a beer or two?" and "C'mon duane, drinkin is fun, it's part of who you are!" and then it sticks it's tongue in my ear and nibbles my earlobe like some seductive bar trollop :(
But dont worry, I'm going to say exactly what I say to the bar trollops "Im sorry but I'm seeing someone...and his name is Bill W."
Well I might leave out the Bill W part. It sounds kind of fruity
