There is an end to grief if we have the courage to accept our personal goodness and our ongoing right to happiness. - Justin Langley
Making peace with our losses takes time and trust. In the past, we may have acted in ways that were heartbreaking to ourselves and others. But now we have a new choice; we can walk the road of self-forgiveness and stop punishing ourselves for past deeds, or we can decide that we don't deserve to feel good, that clinging to our pain, guilt, and self-loathing will somehow make up for some of the damage.
Believing our wrongs are too great to be righted leaves us in a perpetual state of mourning. It's a risk, but we can choose to believe that change is possible, not all at once but slowly, one day at a time.
Believing that God loves us and wants us to be happy gives us the courage to make amends and face our past head on. When we take the leap of faith necessary to grieve and let go of the past, we take back our best selves, and the lives we were meant to live.
Today give me the strength and the courage to grieve my losses.
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
Wow did this Post reflect an active nerve that has been touched in the last few days.
It relates to a Trauma that happened in my family almost 7 years ago. I recall clearly how it was not an issue of drinking - at all - it was an issue for me of just holding on to my sanity, during this time.
Had a long talk yesterday with a Therapist that I have know for over 13 years now, and needed to talk, I always call her when this Trauma memory comes back for pretty much what I would call an unwanted visit. PTSD is like that, never ever really goes away, yes it does go and stay away for a long time sometimes. But you add some components together, health, still on the mend, change in seasons, that's always a big one for me.
Surrender all of this to our God inspired 12 Steps of this Program, and start with Step l, I am powerless over these visits, will turn to my Higher Power in Prayer, a thousand times a day, and somehow, it will, just as in the Third Step, finally return me back to a Grateful and Peacful place.
Many of my brothers and sisters have walked through Life Shattering events in their Recovery, and are still here with us, and the conclusion that I always come to, when I offer this pain for God to please take, that the Acceptance of these events with never be complete, and I am accepting of that fact, if that makes sense.
Was telling my Therapist yesterday, when these memories come up, I am in the middle of a Rock and a Hard Place, and accept that these are the feelings that will come with these memories. There is nothing that I can do to change what happened, nothing I can do to make the situation better today, and that is, how it is. And I do accept that.
She was with me, literally during those times, and just that fact, I am so grateful for. She is my outlet, these memories do not belong in an AA Meeting. Not today.
A very Loving God in my life will direct me to help another, in Recovery, and I am doing that. For it is in those moments of giving, without any expectation, that we are free. Very simple answer to questions that do not have an answers.
So thank you for this Post Carol, I just needed very badly to vent what was brewing up inside me in this last week.
Turning my Will and my Life over to the Care of a Power Greater than myself, staying with that thought, while this grieving is going on. Honor the grief, don't try to fight the visit. Let it be.
Reading out of the 12 x 12 is what I am doing today.
