I've been soooo overwhelmed lately... at first it was overwhelmed with tons of bad memories, things I'm trying to deal with now... it was a bad kind of being overwhelmed... and I just couldn't back off from it either, I couldn't just take a break... I was just diving in with my workbook I'm using and going at it full force and everything I did or realized made me even more overwhelmed.
Then it was good things popping in there too, and that overwhelmed me too... these spiritual experiences I've been having, all these things that I'm realizing about me and about life in general, these things that jus tall of a sudden make sense, they overwhelm me really too.
So now it's a mix of the good and the bad... and overall really I'm feeling good, but just overwhelmed. I feel better when I go to counseling and get some of it out, and then I go to meetings and get other things out... it helps a little to post, but I really need to TALK, like face to face with people, that helps the most.
I feel like my mind's on overdrive lately and I can't slow down. It's just going all the time, about good things and bad things, just constantly running full speed. I tried to back off a little today, haven't worked from my workbook, did email my counselor what I'd written on my last writing exercise and added to it a bit, but I've tried to slow down a bit, I've done my best to back off. Shared at two meetings tonight, talked with a friend after the first meeting... helped back off that overwhelming feeling a little
I just need to slow down, I really do. And really, I'm not sure how. I know the whole keep it simple thing, but my mind doesn't want to keep it simple right now.
Remember theres another ingredient in this recovery mix. Time! What's the NA saying, Remember, Easy does it...as long as you do it. You talking about the NA step study guide? I got in to it in my first days of sobriety, and I threw it away! Some of that stuff scared the PISS outta me! I remember waking up to stuff I never experienced, and I decided that all this emotion and feeling crap was for women, and it was just one whole big giant character defect that God was just gonna have to remove, and I was entirely willing and ready, dammit. Just never convinced Him to see things my way, I sure tried. I guess when my daughter grins at me and I light up like a christmas tree, I'm kinda glad He didnt budge on that one.
Yup, I had two emotions that had always worked just damned fine, thank you. One was called Metallica, And the other Pantera.
i can very much relate with what you are experiancing, please dont forget to do a lot of self nurtureing kinds of things when you're working on your "stuff". i send you love and a prayer.
Recovery takes time and I really had to concentrate on that when I when I first came back to AA. But, you can do it.
At a meeting once, I heard a woman share that she loved herself back to sobriety. Those words have stayed very dear to me and I try to do just that on a daily basis.
Take the greatest care of yourself because you're worth it.
Carol
__________________
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
Every morning, I wake up feeling overwhelmed. I'm crying right now, trying to figure it out...I know I have to ride it out & start working on my program.
But there are moments, you just have to let it go - it's too much to handle. Give it over to your HP.
RyanS wrote: Remember theres another ingredient in this recovery mix. Time! What's the NA saying, Remember, Easy does it...as long as you do it. You talking about the NA step study guide? I got in to it in my first days of sobriety, and I threw it away! Some of that stuff scared the PISS outta me! I remember waking up to stuff I never experienced, and I decided that all this emotion and feeling crap was for women, and it was just one whole big giant character defect that God was just gonna have to remove, and I was entirely willing and ready, dammit. Just never convinced Him to see things my way, I sure tried. I guess when my daughter grins at me and I light up like a christmas tree, I'm kinda glad He didnt budge on that one.
Yup, I had two emotions that had always worked just damned fine, thank you. One was called Metallica, And the other Pantera.
Keep on keeping on. It gets better!!!
-- Edited by RyanS at 00:51, 2006-09-30
Ryan, it's not an NA workbook, it's a workbook for something I'm dealing with in counseling... I've felt so overwhelmed since I started it, but not always in such a bad way.... It's helping me to realize a lot of things, these spiritual experiences I've been having didn't start until after I started the workbook actually. It brings out a ton of feelings and emotions... and I guess I just don't know how to handle that yet.
Thanks everyone for your support... with what I'm working on in counseling it's hard to remember it just takes time... I just want to jump into it full force, and I have been lately, and I don't know if I'm pushing it or if this is just what I need right now. When I get to a tough writing exercise I start to think I'm pushing it, but then I get over that sadness or depression that comes from it and I'm able to move on and it's not so bad, well, besides this overwhelmed feeling I'm left with. Seems like this stuff's running through my mind nonstop.
But with my recovery, I don't think I'm pushing it at all... I've been doing what I need to do, but taking it as it comes, one day at a time... all these changes I'm going through right now just overwhelm me though, it's good, but it's overwhelming all the same.
