u can do it. just step one foot in front of the other. take a deep breathe and sayyyyyyyyy im worth it.. im worth it. we deserve so much happiness. it isn't in the bottle. read my last quote. when i got that bottle from my neighbour today. it took my all not to touch it. but, i don't want to keep starting over. i don't want to die young either. my bro in laws relative just passed away the other day or alcoholism. he was 45. that hit hard.
just remember what the last person said. u are loved. that is what made me try again. i have so many people that love me. why turn to the bottle?
I know you're right. So many things that I have to learn about.
I attempted to go to noon meeting. Was looking forward to it. Got sidetracked with worry. Maybe I'm not ready to admit it yet.
The worry that sidetracked was a candle that I knew I left burning in the livingroom. It was near the end of the wax & I've had candles explode on me before when the flame gets too close to the glass. I've been so worried about offending my roommate & I didn't want to burn down the house....lol I came home & blew it out..........read your sweet posts & burst into tears............thank you.............heated up some leftovers & drank a glass of milk.
I may call an AA friend & go visit her this afternoon.
Being jobless doesn't help the situation either. I can't believe my life has turned out like this. There's so much to absorb mentally - it's overwhelming.
When I crawled back to AA my self worth, self respect and self esteem were all an all time low. My self hatred was at an all time high.
But, I just kept going to meetings, reading AA stuff and using that darned telephone! I had a choice to get off my personal train ride to hell before it hit the buffers and I took it.
Every day is a new day and I try to make the most of it. When I began my sobriety I didn't have a job. The days were long, empty and frightening, but I filled them as much as I could. I went for long walks; I cleaned right through my house; I even starting baking cakes for neighbours! But, it filled the days until I felt more comfortable with myself.
Now, I'm hoping to start studying soon and my life is filling and changing every day. Christine, it really does get better and so very quickly too. Just hang in there.
And as Joni has already said, you are loved. I love you, too. Please know that and keep those loving thoughts from us close to you.
Take care of yourself and please let us know how it is going for you, won't you?
(((Hugs)))
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
Was not on the Board last week, so I missed you long share, I will go back and read it, after I post this.
We only have today, no one ever has any more that just this one day. And the meetings can make you feel better always, that's how I see them.
So glad you have been Posting, I have seen you going through a lot of struggles and here you are, still pushing ahead, that IS all that counts.
And I share what Joni said, there is a very REAL Love to felt on this Board, so many wonderful people, sharing from their hearts, and just know that you are a part of us here, just like you are in any meeting. So good to see you when you Post.
Did you get a Sponsor, or did you have one, and how did that go, if I recall correctly, you did have one, is she still around. We Need supportive people, that is a given, no matter the time in the Program, we need to feel Supported and Loved, and hope that you can find that combination in a Person at your Meetings.
