Ok it was a big one.I went on a boat crusie on Friday night with every intention of behaving but had that first beer.I felt so bad on Saturday and embarrassed of my self because I didnt have the self-control to control my drinking.I was doing so good,I now know that I cant be around booze.I am thinking that I may start going to a meeting.I looked it up and there is none in my area ,so i amy look for something else.I would like to know what is the root of my drinking and why i drink the way i do
All I really know for sure my freind...is "I cant pick up one drink" It sets off a set of bells inside me and big voices that say "Send me more!! now!! And I have no control...all good intentions go right out the window...
Some people can drink normally..some of us cant...Its an addiction...and its bigger than I am...
As for the root causes...?? Who knows...
I quit analyzing it...and Ive tried every way there was....to get a handle on it...no luck...
I just know it isnt going to change...and acceptance is a biggy...
Soooo...one day at a time..and just for today..Im not picking one up..:)
And Im hanging in with others that have gone through the same thing...
Alcoholics Anonymous...a great fellowship..and people that we can identify with..plus a suggested program of 12 steps...is working for over 3 million of us..world wide..and that number keeps getting bigger...
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"LOVE" devoid of self-gratification, is in essence, the will, to the greatest good...of another.
The root of my drinking is because I'm an alcoholic, That's why I drank "like I did".......It doesn't have to be complicated, really.........Do you read the Big Book?
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
I just think there must be a reason I drink,something that happend to me or something I am trying to block out.I could be wrong but that is why I am here to get help and learn from my mistakes
I would have liked to blame genetics, traumas, my family, a few ex's for my drinking. In fact, for a long time I did. Bottom line is, I drank because I'm an alcoholic. No way to shift the blame onto anything but the fact that I have this disease called alcoholism. I can address it, be active in AA, reach out to others? or I can die in my own vomit. Doesn't matter anymore the whys of this disease, it just is. Only you know, deep in your heart where you can't tell yourself any lies, what the problem is. As Doll mentioned the big book---try and get yourself a copy and read the stories in there. Maybe that will help. In the interim, keep coming back. Chris
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"Never argue with an idiot... They'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience..."
When I first decided to quit drinking I reckoned that I could do it by 'self-control'. But, I discovered, for this alcoholic, that no amount of will-power and self-control could help me.
I go to as many meetings as I can and read as much AA literature as I need/want. AA meetings are so very good for me because I need the face-to-face contact with other alcoholics and to hear where alcohol took them and how different their lives are now.
In the very early days of my not drinking, I stayed well away from all social events even if I felt that I could handle them. Now, I'm fine with being in that scenario.
I, too, relapsed and starting drinking again, but I used every slip to learn more about myself and what triggered me to pick up a drink again. I emerged from each slip stronger. I tried not to beat myself up too much about what I had done.
I don't know what has caused my alcoholism, but all I know is that I am an alcoholic. It would be so very easy for this alkie to blame everyone and everything, but I know that that line of thought wouldn't do me any favours.
Take care of yourself and please let us know how it is going for you, won't you?
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
