Boy thats a tricky one, I thought I was self centred, but boy! my partner is another story, anything I do, she questions how it will affect her, I am starting uni, but there is a condition that when I finish I must get a job and pay for her to have babies and not to have to work, I know that sounds really bad of me but thats the way it is.
Thing is yes I would like to do this, but I dont know what 3 years brings, and it causes me anxiety. I cant help but notice since I have said im going to uni, my partner has been grouchy, I have heard it all (about the bio clock ticking) time and time again by my family her family AA and of course every day,.
It is meant to be a happy time for me at the moment as for the first time in years, I am doing something for me, the thing is I feel as depressed as hell, as I am having it drummed into me about the fact that she must have babies soon or else...and if I dont want babies I need to tell her NOW, so that she can plan...what ever that means. does this girl want me or my money? I ahve a piece of paper here that she has done one of these request notes on as always when she has been obsessing, this one is requesting that in two months I take her to Paris, this paper has all the flight details and accomadation mapped out, all we need is my credit card details. there is one slight over sight here, I work 16 hours a week and I earn just enough to buy books for uni and petrol rent etc, she is a company manager, earns £30k and gets a £3k bonus.
I'm with Phil on this one. I'd love to tell you what I think. I can't do it. Life is filled with decisions and I've found that this decision making process becomes a lot simpler taking things one thing at a time, one day at a time.
Good luck to you! I think going to college is going to be a wonderful experience for ya!
And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation -- some fact of my life -- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.
Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes.
For me, serenity began when I learned to distinguish between those things that I could change and those I could not. When I admitted that there were people, places, things, and situations over which I was totally powerless, those things began to lose their power over me. I learned that everyone has the right to make their own mistakes, and learn from them, without my interference, judgement, or assistance!
God, grant me the serenity To accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
The key to my serenity is acceptance. But "acceptance" does not mean that I have to like it, condone it, or even ignore it. What it does mean is I am powerless to do anything about it... and I have to accept that fact.
Nor does it mean that I have to accept "unacceptable behavoir." Today I have choices. I no longer have to accept abuse in any form. I can choose to walk away, even if it means stepping out into the unknown. I no longer have to fear "change" or the unknown. I can merely accept it as part of the journey.
I spent years trying to change things in my life over which I was powerless, but did not know it. I threatened, scolded, manipulated, coerced, pleaded, begged, pouted, bribed and generally tried everything I could to make the situation better -- only watch as things always got progressively worse.
I spent so much time trying to change the things I could not change, it never once occurred to me to simply accept them as they were.
Now when things in my life are not going the way I planned them, or downright bad things happen, I can remind myself that whatever is going on is not happening by accident. There's a reason for it and it is not always meant for me to know what that reason is.
That change in attitude has been the key to happiness for me. I know I am not the only who has found that serenity.
__________________
"LOVE" devoid of self-gratification, is in essence, the will, to the greatest good...of another.
