I don't know what to do.

SheIsSober · Veteran Member

I don't know what to do.

RyanS · Senior Member

Should you tolerate behavior like this at an AA meeting any more than anywhere else? Dont do this feller any favors of some kinda sappy 'understanding' crap. He's the one with a problem here, not you. People are people and jackasses are jackasses, at a meeting or not. You can judge a snake in the grass by it's fruit.

p.s. maybe a little humiliation would be good for this fellow. My left eye is twitching just imagining some chick in to rough of shape to have any sense getting a 'ride' from this....

-- Edited by RyanS at 00:53, 2006-09-11
p.s.p.s Damned if that didnt get me fired up. Right before bed. But all that being said, yeah this guy is sick and comes in scratching fleas like all of us. But your sure as hell not the one he needs any help from. A little humiliation in circumstances like that can be the beginning of learning humility, and folks exposed in the Light have a habit of either showing themselves earnest to straighten up or scurrying off like a cockroach back to the shadows. And straightening up is a process. My observation of folks like this and the way the group deals with them reminds me of that old song.. The eyes of Texas are upon you...

-- Edited by RyanS at 01:16, 2006-09-11

wandajf · Veteran Member

I second everything Ryan says, and I can understand why the people you have talked to are upset. I can add that in my experience, I have had to learn stronger boundaries to understand when someone is not only out of line, but that they need to be taken down a peg. Understanding the behavior doesn't mean that it is excusable!! If you see this guy again, please go to an oldtimer, and ask for their assistance. An oldtimer needs to tell him about what the appropriate boundaries are. AA needs to be a safe place for all of us to go, please don't let this jerk keep you form this group. His behavior should put him off limits to any group.

I hope this helps, and having said my piece, now I will say a prayer for that poor soul who is so out of control! However, just because I pray for him doesn't mean I need to be around him. Take care of yourself.
And let us know how it goes.

Wanda

Doll · MIP Old Timer

You should definatley TELL the group leader(s). We had a guy in my HG who was a little "weird" in the same ways, turned out he was a convicted pedafile. Another guy in my HG, just a couple months ago, KILLED his mother (see article below). So, DO NOT take this lightly. Do something quick.........

S.C. fugitive sought here in mother's death June 29, 2006

SUSPECT WALKED HIS DAUGHTER DOWN AISLE AT LEXINGTON WEDDING

By Nina Coolidge
HERALD-LEADER STAFF WRITER

As South Carolina authorities searched for a man wanted in the killing of his elderly mother, he was apparently walking his daughter down the aisle at her weekend wedding in Lexington.

An arrest warrant has been issued by the Aiken, S.C., Department of Public Safety for Craig Bogert Baldwin, 57, in connection with the killing of his mother, Dale Baldwin, 83. The severely decomposed body of the elderly woman was found by neighbors last Friday.

The next day, Craig Baldwin attended his daughter's wedding at Second Presbyterian Church in Lexington. A reception was held afterward at Idle Hour Country Club.

According to a wedding announcement in the Herald-Leader, Craig Baldwin walked his daughter, Elizabeth Rhodes Baldwin, down the aisle.

Baldwin hasn't been seen since the wedding, police said.

The bride's mother, Leslie Rhodes of Lexington, yesterday acknowledged that Craig Baldwin was at the wedding, but did not answer other questions.

"I'm not making any comments," Rhodes said. "We are all very sad and mourning and I don't want anyone else in my family contacted. My daughter just got married and I don't want anything to ruin it."

Sgt. David Turno, a spokesman for the Aiken, S.C., Department of Public Safety, said Baldwin's family members have been working with law enforcement officials in their investigation.

Turno said Craig Baldwin is the only suspect in his mother's death. He said it's possible that Baldwin is unaware of the warrant out for his arrest.

Investigators do not know whether Baldwin is still in the Lexington area, but they said he has not returned to Aiken. Before moving to Aiken just over a year ago, Baldwin had been living in Hilton Head, S.C.

According to Turno, neighbors picking up the Baldwins' mail Friday found the elderly woman's body in the bushes beside the house that Craig Baldwin and his mother shared in an upscale neighborhood.

According to an article in The Augusta (Ga.) Chronicle, an autopsy was performed Saturday by the Aiken County Coroner's Office, but was inconclusive. The Chronicle also reported that forensic analysis of Dale Baldwin's dental records was necessary to determine the identity of the body because of the decomposition.

Turno said investigators think the slaying occurred on or about June 16.

Aiken investigators have been in contact with Lexington-area officials, who are helping in the search for Baldwin, Turno said.

In a press release issued by the Aiken Department of Public Safety, Craig Baldwin is described as a white male, 5 feet 10 inches tall and 160 pounds. He has brown hair and hazel eyes. Officials think he is driving a blue 2002 Toyota Camry with handicap South Carolina tags 66040.

Anyone with information about Baldwin's whereabouts should call Aiken Public Safety at (803) 642-7740.

http://www.kentucky.com/mld/kentucky/news/local/14926648.htm

jonibaloni · MIP Old Timer

Sheis,

PLEASE tell the group about this. You may even want to file a police report. For all you know, this man could very well be a pradator, and not leave it go just like that. He could hurt you or someone else. the way he invaded your space makes me want to VOMIT, and I would have hauled off and slugged him square in the face!! If this should happen again, GOD FORBID, yell as loud as you can, so that others can hear you, "Get OFF ME NOW!!!!" That should get people's attention, and him away from you.

Around here, a lot of the 'big sober guys' who have time in the program, are MORE than willing to look out for the women who are being victimized. They laugh and call themselves the 'AA mafia"... LOL Because they will rough up any asshole like this in a hot minute!! Not only is this man's behavior inappropriate at AA, but in SOCIETY in general!! Nope, the rules are no different in the rooms than they are in the outside world, when it comes to anyone touching you in an inappropriate way. If you have phone numbers opf folks that go to that meeting, ask to meet them somewhere down the street before the meeting, and be escorted TO the meeting by one or two other people. This will send a HUGE message to this fool that YOU are in control, and you will NOT tolerate his crap, and you are not at all going to protect him and his sick disgusting vile behavior. He could very well be a sexual predator, and I would not risk my safety around him for ANYTHING. There is safety in numbers, and AA people in general would be happy to help you, and to expose one of it's members who is dangerous to the women in the group.

PLEASE contact members of that group, and contact the police. Let them know your concerns, and where this man can be found. You never know, they may have a history with this person already!!

Your safety HAS to be the number 1 priority, as well as the safety of other women you may not even know about.

Joni

Quetzal · MIP Old Timer

Hi SheIs,

I'm so truly sorry that this happened to you. But, PLEASE, don't let it put you off going to meetings.

I would certainly mention it to the group leader. I'd also chat about it with my sponsor, too. Within the AA meetings that I go to, there are some wonderful people, and nobody would want anything like that happening to anyone in the group. You simply don't have to put up with it. It's that simple.

You, your sobriety and your safety are so very important. Don't let anyone intimidate you. You deserve better than that.

Please let us know how it goes for you, won't you?

Take care,

Carol

Phil · MIP Old Timer

AA Mafia.....Kick Ass !!