Good to meet you Busbe someones always around- meetings and here. Phil, gotta be a surreal experience. Guess we gotta do our work while we're on the clock, maybe get some rest when were finished, and know Gods got someone else to step in and keep things rolling. This mortality thing is something I find full of depth and need for understanding and acceptance. Was kinda a shocking thing to begin to acknowledge in sobriety. And a guage to help me in coming to terms with and understanding consequences. In matters great and small. I thought I was a fearless badass in drinking. Plenty of 'deeds' to show for it to. Old friends going out, alcohol and resentments allowed me to deal with the unanswerable hurt. Last one found on a hillside in Kentucky with a bullet in his head. Identified him by the tatoos. As immortal an ol feeler as ever lived, A vet SEAL, in the end led to his sentence like a baby lamb. Coulda been any of us the way we lived. Now as I grow in real, purposeful relationships, with sober fellows, learning that this pain and dyin deal is as much a part of relationships as all the happy good ol times stuff. As these wall slowly crumble, it also teaches me to appreciate. People. Also start to feel the resevoir of hurt dammed up thru life. Never allowed myself to. Couldnt. I dont understand this living and dying deal half as much as I thought. I dont feel such of a badass nowdays. Just tired to the bone sometimes. Pluggin kickin and clawing towards that Narrow Gate, Ryan
"Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music." -- Kristian Wilson, Nintendo, Inc, 1989"
