That is how I feel, I thought maybe a drink would take this away?
I actually thought of having just 4 cans of lager, just enough to change the way I feel.
If I had Lager I would need wine too, I really dont fancy wine, come to think of it the thought of lager is not sitting comfortabally either, I really dont want to drink it, but I do want to escape the way I feel, which is that I am at the final part of a shite journey and a new one is about to come, but I want to escape and its all a bit too much....
I keep hanging on, but I feel quite bad at the mo, I felt like drinking last night also and I thought just dont drink today.......
This really will pass. I get bad days when I think that I want a drink. But, if I really think about it, I don't want to go back to the appalling days and back down the path to hell - which was the only place that I was going with alcohol.
Try to hang in there, that's what I do. And, I always try to get to more or new meetings. Just keep doing it one day at a time.
Take care and please let us know how it is going for you, won't you?
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
I have lost my mobile, I cant call out to my sponcer, and he has not bothered to call me, I am scared, I am not leaving the house as worried about drink, I hear of the immediate relief it gives and that is what i need right now
Is there any way you can go back and look at your beginning posts from way back when, here on MIP and just look at how you FELT then??? Don't ever forget what got you here. It gets always worse, never better.
Trust me on this, a drink won't make you feel better. You gone too far down the recovery road, a drink will just totally smash all your self respect. The only thing a drink will make you feel is "Incomprehensible Demoralization"
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Work like you don't need the money
Love like you've never been hurt, and
dance like no one is watching.
I thought you were starting the University thing in a few days, you were Really so jazzed up that you got in, right. What is the story with that.
Remember that saying that you have heard probably hundreds of times my now.
"We don't drink, no Matter what!" And another one is "If our Ass falls off, we Still don't drink"
I was thinking about how you said you were up to the 6th step, well feeling restless, irratable and discontent, can be neutralized with the application of the 1st, 2nd and 3rd Steps.
I have to do this anytime I feel out of sorts, turning to God, Asking Him for help. Prayer Changes Things.
I share Joni's Question, are you temporarily forgetting where you came from???
Hope this feeling turns around in you. It is an Inside job, no way around that one.
Just wanted to add, that that "Think, Think, Think!" means to me that I can think the thought of a drink through. And I share Bob's opinion, if you think you are having a bad day, drinking WOULD only take you back to that Incomprehensible Demolization. There is almost a guarantee to that. I saw two people in my Group, yesterday that had done just that. They drank, for no real good reason. Well, they did drink cause that what alcoholics do. What they did talk about was the Terrifying thought of the Compulsion to drink coming back, and were there, humbly Praying for it not to return.
Heads held low, felt oh so much worse than, Restless, Irritable and Discontent.
I feel real confused, with the University doors opening, and now your thoughts of thinking that returning to Hell, might give you some relief. Very Cunning, and Baffling, and Powerful, this Disease that we share.
Got your number ..and after some language conversion with your operator...talked to your answering machine for a couple minutes...Even it has an accent..lol
I will track you down mate....Scotland Yard..right..:)
Anyone tell me what the "H" the time change is..between Canada and Britain? Im not that smart...
Will try yu later Robert..
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"LOVE" devoid of self-gratification, is in essence, the will, to the greatest good...of another.
I would pay closer to the first couple pages of Into Action. To paraphrase a few lines, time after time, newcomers have tried keeping to themselves certain facts about their lives....having perservered with the rest of the program, they wonder where they fell....held on to some of the worst items in stock... they THOUGHT they had humbled themselves... Had not learned enough of humility, fearlessness, and honesty -in the sense we find it necessary-, until they have told someone -all- of their life story.
For me, this was for the other guy, you know like that other guy in all the bad parts of the bible(im sure glad im not that feller), I discovered it was me as I went through my steps, like Bill W. had wrote the story line, and I followed all by myself, and found myself in retrospect.
Bud, your sponsor cant be a babysitter for you, and cant work these steps for you. I'm sure you would'nt have it like that anyway. We are looking here for the Power greater than ourselves, and we find Him in action. This aint easy, but it will pass. Going back wont.
One more thing. Only YOU and GOD can judge your earnesty, and these principals are laid out in a manner where you will find sobriety alone or with a group, if earnestly seeking. Most of us, however, would undoubtedly find insincerity with such a course. Follow your concience in your actions and press forward.
