All of our relationships have the potential of showing us who we are as souls. Our relationships with other human beings force us to acknowledge both our perfection as souls and our limitations as personalities. We are also challenged to accept the opposites and to experience duality, symbolized in the male-female dynamics of relationship. Because all relationships are based on soul we have the opportunity to gain a sense of meaning in life through our relationships. Soul shows us the bigger picture. Soul creates deeper connection; it fulfills and responds to the true needs in our life and the lives of others.

Relationships take us both into the light of our soul and the darkness of our subconscious. They force us to look at our shadows and to also experience the light. If we deny the light of either ourselves or the other then we relate to each other in conflict. If we deny the shadows of either ourselves or the other then we relate in illusion. Only by accepting both do we face reality and experience harmony.

We are always challenged in relationships to accept the unknown of ourselves and the unknown of the other. Therefore, meeting this challenge must be founded on trust. You need to trust that they will get whatever they need from you and that you will get whatever you need from them. Since the soul is the underlying guide of all relationships, we are always getting what we need because the soul always responds to need. If we don’t recognize the underlying soul presence, we will probably become demanding and certainly do things contrary to maintaining a healthy relationship. The problem lies only in our lack of awareness and understanding.

The key word is NEED, not desire. We are often conscious of our desires, but our needs are usually related to what we are unconscious of. We are not in relationships to have our desires fulfilled. It is up to us to fulfill our own desires and stop demanding that they be fulfilled by others. For example, if you have the desire to be loved, you must not demand it from someone else. You fulfill your need for love by expressing it. Expressing love is far more fulfilling than trying to get it from others.

We usually create difficulties in our relationships when we let our desires take over. When we don’t get our desires met - and that includes things like getting our way, getting what we want, getting love and attention, being made to feel important, being shown respect and honour - we usually get angry, sad, become selfish and self centered, resentful or revengeful. When that happens we need to stop and ask ourselves what we really need, and then give it to ourselves rather than demanding it from others.

Desires point toward our needs. When we are trapped by our desires we don’t recognize the need behind the desire. When we realize what is happening and we respond to our need or the needs of others then we have taken another step toward becoming more conscious.

Intimacy is an important aspect of all relationships, and it differs according to the relationship. Intimacy exposes the unconscious and teaches us trust. Intimacy helps us to recognize needs, and it awakens the love within us to respond to those needs. It especially empowers us to meet our own needs. Intimacy says: you are acceptable and lovable just as you are.