It was two years since I picked up a drink on tues but I didnt go to a meeting to pick up a chip because I was asshamed of myself as I picked something else up about 4 months ago (not alcohol) feeling kind of blue and lost in sobriety.
dont know who or what I am now.
am in between meetings too because of bullys in their sick ways, I dont want to be part of any more, I lead a happy personal life now but really dont like AA much at the moment in terms of the uk meetings and I am sad about that.
First of all CONGRATUALTIONS on your two years! That is really great and it is people just like you who inspire me over and over again. And, try not to beat yourself up about what happened four months ago. Nobody is perfect!
I'm not sure whereabouts in the UK you live, but maybe you could try a few fresh meetings. I went to a new one last week and it was a wonderful experience for me. It was good to sit in a different room and to listen to the ES&H of people that I hadn't met before. I plan on going back to that meeting and trying a few new ones, too.
Sometimes I get in a way that I don't really want to go to my meetings. But, I know that that sort of thinking would be the beginning of a relapse for me. I go to one meeting on a Monday evening and it has never really 'gelled' with me. I'm just not sure why. But, I was asked to keep the birthday book and organise cards for folks AA birthdays. I didn't want to say no, so I accepted. But, it has done me so much good and I feel part of that meeting now which I hadn't felt before.
Take care of yourself and have a super weekend.
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
I know first hand stopping meetings leads me to relapse. I also have days that I'd rather not go to a meeting & I'd certainly rather not be an alcoholic! But, I am what I am, and until I truely accepted that I struggled daily. Some days I still struggle, but they are getting fewer and farther between. Thanks to God.
Don't know what your "something else" you picked up is, but I know there is lots of help out there, other than AA. Maybe try one of those?
2 yrs of being alcohol free is a HUGE deal, be proud of yourself for that accomplishment, I am proud of you. That continues the hope I have for myself...........
Hang in there. You're in my prayers.
(((HUGS))))
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
Hey man you earned that seat, don't let some Ahole run you out. As far as the birthday goes if you aren't clean you aren't sober. I had my last drink 4 days before I used for the last time, I don't even consider the earlier date. This is why I like NA, no shade of gray, alcohol is a drug, abusing your scripts is using. Real simple, don't mean to sound like a jerk but at one time AAs would be smoking pot during the break then come in a pickup a chip. Does that sound right. Maybe you should go back to that meeting share about your using and pick a new birthday? Or a new fellowship, I have no problem attending both programs. Good luck. Bob.
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Work like you don't need the money
Love like you've never been hurt, and
dance like no one is watching.
Congratulations Rob on not dinking for two yearsI That is a great achievement! As far as whatever else you "picked up", well....errrr....I'l leave that judgment to you and anyone else who cares to. Is there something that causes you to want to alter your conciousness? Think about it. As far as that "closed" meeting goes, I've seen that and it sucks. It seems like some of the smaller meetings become a clicque for just a few regulars and they just don't want to accept or deal with newcomers to their space. I was at a meeting once, a small one, and there was a new person there, an older man who really looked like he needed the help. He was kind of mumbling to himself while others were sharing. He wasn't loud, just kind of off in his own world and it seemed as though he couldn't help it. I couldn't help but feel sorry for his state at his age and saw what may be my future in him. Only one JERK took offense with his minor noises and told him to leave. This man probably NEEDED the meeting more than anyone else present! But one selfish bastard took that opportunity away from him. I thought it was entirely outside the spirit of AA and told the jerk so, left, and never went back to that one.
So don't get discouraged. As has been said, find other meetings. You WILL find one where you are welcome and others are happy that you are there to share and be with you. Good fortune...Tim
-- Edited by timverton at 19:45, 2006-08-26
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"We posess the eyes through which the universe gazes with wonder upon its own majesty."
Still going to that meeting you don't care for. If by any chance that is the only meeting available to you there in the UK. I would say you have earned that seat, it Belongs to YOU, and why would you, let "them" win. These rooms are full of people, many sicker than others and my take anyway, even the people that are not in that catagory, maybe are not "Still Well".
This is a Journey, not a destination, and speaking for myself, I will never be cured of this Disease. Does not happen, my take anyway.
So if you cannot find another meeting, I would consider going back, nothing replaces the "Putting Butt in Chair at an AA Meeting". We need them always. I have not been to a meeting in 5 days, and already feel off track, it was impossible, for me to go, some horrible long required Dental Stuff, but I am definitely going tomorrow at noon. When I go to a meeting and listen, with a strong need for a meeting, such as right now, I will guarantee you it will be a Great Meeting, no matter how it turns out.
Have you ever considered what others say and do, if it is not in a Positive way, that it Just does not matter. What matters is Butt in Chair.
As far as feeling that you broke you Sobriety, don't know what that involves, but strongly agree that NA, is a very Powerful Program, something to be checked out.
And I have a birthday too, coming up, but the REAL stuff is in TODAY, that is ALL we have. Nothing More.
I recall reading your Posts when you came into MIP and into the AA Program, and you have come so far my friend, I see a new person in you. Just use that 24 hours is the Record, and try to get back on track. Just go back to the days before the Program, that should be a real insentive, to go back to any meeting, NO MATTER WHAT.
You have never really told us about any other options regarding meetings, are they different options???
A Big Hug, Toni
I just see in you so much work that you have done, your have overcome some serious health issues and family issues, and put them behind you, using the Steps and Tools of this Program. that is all I see. Time can be seen as just a clock, ticking on a wall, nothing more. My take, on this.
Hi Robert " We admitted that we were powerless over alcohol-That our lives had become unmanageable." Something my sponsor takes great delight in is beating into my skull a very simple concept that Moses carried down from some damned mountain engraved in stone many years ago, and personally handed to him, I will share as I understand it. That dash ties those two seperate phrases together, and for me, the first part is one detail out of a thousand wich elaborates the second. Alcohol was sure the most aggrevating symptom of that unmanageability, but is just that, a symptom. This unmanageability, unable to live up to the good I could to... lack of power, that was our dilema. ----------------------------------------------------- Necessity of fellowship is a characteristic of our human nature, God intended fellowship with Him, the primary symptom of our broken nature, our human condition, if you will, is lack of fellowship with Him. As we find fellowship with each other with a higher purpose than any one of us could achieve alone.. Any lengths. We need Godly fellowship to survive. Hell, all you need to start a meeting is a coffee pot and a resentment! Oh, yeah Britain... tea... Well, youll just have to move over here, where we do things right. heheh -------------------------------------------------------------- Eh, been reading the Old Testament for a while this Sunday morning, getting to smart for my own britches. Must be drunk on coffee, because not only am I solving all my problems, I'm gonna solve yours as well! ------------------------------------------------------------- Need that fellowship, man! Your gonna find fellowship in one form or another, make it a Godly form!
Oh, yeah Britain... tea... Well, youll just have to move over here, where we do things right. heheh