Well, as some of you who have been around here awhile may (or may not) have noticed, I have gotten a bit 'controlling' here with my frustrations in my 12th Step work lately. I have been a bit harsh, and unkind at times, in the name of having 'been there, done that'. I have been downright bossy. I have been a Big Book thumper at times, and I have been getting very frustrated when I see what this disease is still doing to people's brains. I have not been able to fully focus properly, and have gotten a good case of the 'poor me's' when fellow alcoholics have slipped, or had difficulties. Like who the HELL am I???!!!??? I have tried to have an 'answer' for eveything, the very thing I hate. I have forgotten for a time how to be compassionate. I have forgotten how to 'listen' to a person, no matter where they are at.
Tonight my Higher Power blindsided me. Tonight I went to a meeting I NEVER EVER go to. Didn't know why I was going at the time, really no logical reason for it, but now I know.
I met the sweetest, most innocent and child-like woman I have ever met. She has a mild disablitiy, and is living with a relative. She has hurt sooo sooo badly in her life, and has been treated horribly. Yet she is simply happy to just be sober. She needs a lot of help and love right now. She needed a couple of women to just LISTEN and take it all in. She needed to feel accepted, and she needed to trust. She spent 2 hours after the meeting with a dear sober girlfriend of mine and I, completely opening up. She was mnore grateful for a cup of coffee, for a hug, for a ride home, right down the street, than I have been for ANY of the tons of gifts I have taken for granted.
She was not in any kind of denial whatsoever about anything. She was not trying to put on any airs whatsoever. She was not telling us 'how it is'... she just shared and shared... and blindly TRUSTED... and I was so humbled. I just listened, and for once in my life, nodded and kept mu mouth SHUT. As I drove her home, she taught me how to greet people in sign language. She is not well-educated, and is not deaf, but smiled at me and signed the words to a familiar song all the way home. She learned sign language when she was very young, so she could communicate with another disabled person in her life. She is a butterfly. And I did not need to 'tell her' a damned thing. I was only supposed to just 'be there', and learn, for myself.
I cried all the way home. How HUMBLED I am tonight. And how amazingly God puts my body... and my heart, right where He wants it, when I am ready.
Congratulations Joni!! You ARE one fortunate person to not only have recognized that beautiful experience, but for recognizing what was needed of you at the time. Definately humbling and sounds like it was indeed a mutually rewarding experience. I hope you have many more. This, I guess, is what happens when you just follow your instinct (going to that meeting), let go and let God...Tim
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"We posess the eyes through which the universe gazes with wonder upon its own majesty."
What a wonderful experience you had! It is amazing how God puts us just where we need to be at times. I am always grateful when that happens to me.
One of my regular meetings is held at a rehab unit. There is often one or two new people in there being treated for alcohol addiction. I am always humbled when I chat to them and then watch their progress over the four or six weeks or their treatment.
What a beautiful program we are all following. We are so lucky.
Have a great weekend.
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
What a wonderful story, and thank you for sharing this. This program, and this Board is Amazing.
The other day, when I had mentioned how I was under the radar with how I was feeling, this man that just joined us, did something that I found truly amazing.
I had written to him and told him my new puppy was in the same town, in California, that he was in, and I had just met him. Now I have to tell you that I have a problem even with asking a good friend for a favor. And when he said he would go see my puppy for me, I said well o.k. maybe when he is ready to be moved.
Well yesterday, I got this PM, from Tim, that said I have a surprise for you, I am going to meet the lady that has you new little doggie, and I am going to send you some pictures. It BLEW me away.
He did go and send me all the Pictures and a great note about the trip, and then when I thanked him so profusely, he said well, just Service Work.
When something brings us to a very profound Humbling in this Program, and on this Board, it is not a wonder that John named this Board, Miracles in Progress.
Another Heart felt Thank You Tim, we never ever forget, moments like that.
And Joni, I hope so much that this new Miracle in you life, will stay in your life, for the Spiritual Healing that obviously has taken place.
