Dan, I totally agree with you. I believe so many people have come in from a world that is complicated for them, and were unable to "see" how simple this program is, or can be. That rather than look at how the steps work together, they could only glom on to the step that confused them the most, or sadly, chose to do it that way rather than simply doing them as the BB suggests.

I personally feel that those who "cannot or will not" follow the suggestions, just aren't ready. They have more research to do, they don't really want the change. The desire and the willingness just aren't there yet, I guess. I know that sounds like a judgemental statement, but I am basing it on how I approached the program. In the beginning I paid lip service, kept coming to meetings while still using. No idea why, maybe I was afraid I would really die at some point, but going to meetings, even loaded, was a start. I began hearing things. Eventually, in a few years of this horrible dance, I became willing. I had the desire. My Higher Power took over. It's still an unexplained miracle to me.

I hope others will find their miracles before they die. Thank you, Dan. Hug, Wren

I agree with all of the above.
I also believe that it might be a good idea to put a Stick Post at the top of the page stating what this message board IS and IS NOT.
This board is a place for anyone to come to and find imformation about Alcoholic Anonymous.
This board is a place for AA member to share their ES&H with each other.
This board isn't the AA program or a substitute for AA meetings. The AA program can be found in the book Alcoholics Anonymous, which can be purchased at cost at your local AA meetings. Held Worldwide.
The heart of the Alcoholics Anonymous program is one Alcoholic helping another Alcoholic, getting out of our own heads and helping someone else is what helps to keep us sober.
This is only my example and other may have different and better ideas.
Thank you for the use of the soapbox.

When I first joined AA in 2004, I wanted a 'miracle' cure. I thought that I was ready to go to any lengths, but I simply wasn't. Eighteen months later, after hitting my personal rock bottom, I truly was.

But, fortunately, for this alcoholic I returned to AA and my life is now changing daily. I never forgot my early AA meetings or the messages of hope that I heard in the rooms.

I owe so much to AA.

Carol

Hi Again,

And want to share I agree with Bob, the How it Works, from Chapter 5, BB. would be great to Post part of or the whole thing on a Sticky Post that would stay on top. I think I will make a Post about it and get some feedback for everyone. o.k.

Also to bring up the issue of this being a Message Board only, for people that want to be here, and that it is not the Program, it supports the Program, and as Bob stated, the Program can be found in the Big Book, and in any AA Meeting, but it is not on this Board. 

John made a big point of that issue, way back when, about this being a message Board, tell a joke, sell a car, but is no subsitute for a Meeting. (John's words)

Toni

 

 

-- Edited by Toni Baloney at 16:47, 2006-08-25

At first, what I really WANTED was people and courts off my back. I wanted a lot of sympathy, a lot of hand-holding, a lot of friends, something to do on a Friday night that would not involve me getting into trouble. I also wanted a mate, a car, a house on the hill. I wanted respect and prestige.

But I did not want to stop drinking. Not really, not deep inside.

I pi**ed a lot of people off who saw right through me, and were sick and tired of coming to my rescue. I was told AA is not for people who need it, it is for people who WANT it. Since I couldn't want it, I did what I wanted to do, which was drink and drug. I knew darned well when I was wasting people's time, and that guilt made me want to drink even more. But as Phil said, the seed was indeed planted. No matter how kind others in AA had been to me for those years, I wasn't ready to be kind to myself.

My family learned how to stop enabling me. It wasn't easy for them to let their precious daughter/niece sit in jail cels, lose apartments, or go to the psyche ward for a 'break'. But they did it anyway. And I finally got the gift of a bottom. A good hard long bottom, in total darkness, friendless, homeless, no will to live at all 100% alone in this world. Until I let myself into my own heart and wanted something better, no matter what I had to give. I had nothing left to give up but alcohol or life.

I stopped trying to take half measures. I stuck my nose in that Big Book. I got outdside help that was suggested. I became grateful for waking up still breathing. I picked up ashtrays and made coffee. I called my sponsor every single day, no matter how I 'felt' about it. I stopped worrying about how I 'felt' and did the things I was told to do. I took Steps 1, 2 & 3. I wrote out my 4th Step with as much honesty and intuition as God allowed me to have at that time. I shared my 5th Step, hated doing it, but did it anyway, and shared it ALL. Did 6 and 7, and still have to go back to those today. Did Step 8 and 9. ALL of Step 9. Finances and all. 2 people I can't make amends to right now, not won't, but CAN'T. I pray for them often and only God knows when and if He will put the opportunity in front of me. I am working on Steps 10, 11 and 12 today. Sometimes I feel horrible, for a short time, and sometimes for no apparent reason. Sometimes I even get angry... go figure!! The 12 Steps didn't cure me from being a human being, or from living an average human life with tons of up's and down's. People still do things every day that are against MY WILL... LOL  I just have to DEAL with it and not drink.

Nowhere does it say in any literature that AA is going to make me feel good all the time. AA won't take my feelings away. It won't make me or anyone else in my life 'behave'. The truth about AA is that it relieves me from the bondage of alcohol. If I still want to drink, that just won't happen. And I couldn't find willingness until I was so utterly horrified... terrified of life itself that I would do anything to have one moment's peace. And that's what I have today.

I have peaceful moments. Not peaceful weeks or months or years, just moments. Some moments are longer than others. And the 'moments' of sadness and anger are managable because I am extremely aware of God in my life.

I am very new to this. I have only been working toward Freedom for 5 short years. Really working. And I have fallen down. And it sucked. But that is what 'keep coming back' really means. Keep on TRYING. I had no business being here if I wasn't even going to try.

What I DIDN'T get from AA:

A new car 

A new house

A perfect marriage

Tons of friends

Great physical health

Constant happiness

A silky-smooth life

What I DID get from AA:

Freedom from Alcohol, 24 hours at a time.

Freedom from the bondage of self- but only when I work really hard for that.

 

I hope this helps somebody new. I have had to learn the hard way and I would hate to see anybody else have to suffer so. But some will. You can get off the 'down-only' elevator at any time. Take what you want and leave the rest. 

 

Have a wonderful weekend, all, and thanks for letting me spew.

Jonibaloni