A friend in the program is a nurse. She has a few weeks 'sober', so far as I know, and asked me to take her for a diagnostic test, as she will be on Valium before the test. I took her to one other appointment and her doctor had given her some Valium to take before another non-invasive diagnostic test. I have to wonder about all this Valium.
I have been to many doctors for many reasons in recovery, and have had to tell them all first and foremost that I am an alcoholic, not only for the health-reasons, but to protect my sobriety from being unnecessarily prescribed highly addictive substances. I know Valium to be one of the most dangerous drugs out there for an alcoholic or addict. Some physicians in the field of addiction treatment have even called Valium 'dry alcohol'.
So I am now questioning this person's motives (which are none of my business, except for the fact that I am driving her around getting all this Valium??? NO WAY!!!!) The fact that this person is a nurse and really ought to know a lot about the subject even sends up more red flags.
In an effort to 'not go there' in my own mind, I declined to give her the ride next week. It is a week away and I'm sure she will find a competent person to take her by then.
I have worked in doctor's offices and also in surgery. I have been exposed to people on all sorts of prescribed narcotic substances. I have never seen a person prescribed Valium for the test that is going to be administered, and I have never ever seen it prescribed for a known alcoholic, period. I may be exposed to this in the nursing field in the future, but I feel like somehow that will be 'different'. Being on the job and dealing with a patient is much different than being alone with a person you are in recovery with who is 'high', prescribed or not. It is the thinking (or lack thereof) that is bothering me in this circumstance.
Need a little feedback on this, if anyone has any to offer. Thanks.
I think Joni...that youve pretty well answered any questions you have had, regarding this situation...in your post...and that youre just looking for some reasurrance..and I agree with you...
I obtained a diploma in addiction support..and just finished another re: addiction councelling...
If you put the addiction programs..that we are in ...side by side...with the professional side of it...Its like wearing two different hats..
You have detached physically from what the other person is doing with the valium thing..I agree..
But then theres the other side...and thats a "care and detatch"...
I firmly believe..youve done the right thing...
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"LOVE" devoid of self-gratification, is in essence, the will, to the greatest good...of another.
I just don't want to be kidding myself about nursing... which is what I am headed for. I really do feel a different 'connection' to a fellow alkie in recovery than to a patient. I just don't like to think I am 'kidding myself'?? Make sense?? With this, there is 'addiciton-thinking crap' involved, and not so much so with a nurse/patient relationship.
I'm not so sure that the reason is not legit. I've had MRI's and CT scans and the doctors always asked if I needed valium. I'm claustrophobic in one of those. I've always declined and instead just brought a good jazz disc, closed my eyes AND DIDN'T OPEN THEM until it was over. So if that is the kind of non-invasive procedure she's undergoing and if the valium is only one dose before it, it may be quite on the level. Just wanted to throw that out for thought...Tim
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"We posess the eyes through which the universe gazes with wonder upon its own majesty."
Well, my appropriate 'hat' here would be a 'fellow recovering person' hat. With that in mind, I do not believe she has talked to this doctor about her alcoholism (and her SEVERE level thereof) or he would not be prescribing this, even for an MRI. And her being a nurse herself, she knows what to expect, and she also knows what can be alternatively prescribed instead. My sponsor and I have had a really hard time with this girl. She is not finished 'knowing everything' and it keeps biting her in the ass. So instead of being a part and parcel to the futility, I am glad I 'bowed out'.
You are right too, Phil, if I were her nurse, I would not be her co-sponsor, and it would be none of my business, medically, if that is what she was prescribed. So to keep it simple, I know her well enough and have seen enough tears, in recovery, to know that this is another one of those situations where I can just 'detatch'.
I was lucky early in recovery. I had a diagnostic doctor and a psych who knew full well the weight of my addiction. For any and everything 'stressful' such as a few tests I had, I was prescribed Vistaril. That's it, and nothing else, and I made out just fine. But that is my story, and not everyone else's path. I can't let myself think I 'know everything' anymore either. It's just too damn dangerous AND TOO DAMN TEMPTING to want to 'rescue'.
It's just too damn dangerous AND TOO DAMN TEMPTING to want to 'rescue'.
That line really hit home...
And Ive gone over that line in a few cases...from trying to help...to trying to rescue...and its come around to bite me in the ass..a few times...and recently..just did again...
I guess we are human...and we try to give what we can to others with sincerity...because we care...
But Im the type of person that can try to give too much...and forget that number one hasta come first...
You have a good night...
__________________
"LOVE" devoid of self-gratification, is in essence, the will, to the greatest good...of another.
Well my take, is that Valium is by far the most dangereous of all the benzodiaziphines. None are safe, but as a Recovering cross addicted person, I would take Valium for hang overs, and they felt, and my recall of that drug was "Brain Frosting". The detox from that Drug was so difficult, and more complex than the later removal of the Alcohol. And much much more dangerous too.
An if this lady is a Nurse, she is taking this drug with only a few weeks of Recovery. Good Luck.
I was in a Woman's Recovery Treatment Center, one of the Best in the Bay Area, and there were 4 woman there that were Nurses, that were all getting off of Major Drug Use, were looking at a very tenious Licensing Board follow-up, and were all subject to the possibility of losing their Licenses completely.
My own take, was that there should have lost their Licenses, altogether, that is how I feel, they were, at times, confessing to taking their Patients medications, that does not seem like a Violation that should have any questions to it. How would you feel coming out of Major Surgery, and needed that strong medication for the horrific pain you were in, and find out you dear Nurse was giving you a lesser dose, so she could pocket the rest. They would not let a Doctor get away with that, so why would they only suspend a Nurses license??? Go Figure, eh?
Anyway, you obviously touched a nerve in me, but I am sure you know that Drug use is Rappent in the Nursing Field.
And personally, if I considered this person a friend in Recovery, I would simply ask her about it, but that is just me. And even if Tim is on target with the issue of Clostaphobia, and the need for a sedative, there are alternatives now, one being Open MRI, and Open Cat Scans. And there is also the use of Bio Feed back, and deep breathing exercises - THAT WORK!!!
I know this woman that has Major Back Problems, like she cannot walk sometimes, and takes 3 Norco everyday, they are like stronger Vicodine, and once I knew this was the situation, I have refused to be in her car, to go to a few places with her, and I do tell her, because she askes me why I would rather take my own car. My answer is always, I do not drive with anyone taking any heavy medications. period.
I suffered a lot with anxiety that turned into panic Attacks and bad ones when I moved to San Diego, and was trying to familiarize myself with the freeways, I never once even considered asking a Doctor for some Meds for these Panic attacks, in Recovery we learn the alternatives, and use them.
So my take on this Nurse, is simple, she is only BSing herself, surely no one else, and if detachment is what you choose, I understand that.
O.k. the nerve you hit, has calmed down a little, and I will say cherrio, haha.
A Drug, is a Drug, is a Drug. My recall of Valium is that 5 mg. of it was the eveqilent of a short shot of 80%, with out having to take breath mints.
Toodles,
Toni
PS. I had worked like Phil on a License to Practice Drug and Alcohol couseling, at U.C. Berkeley, and the first part of the Course was on the Neuro-Pharmacology of Drugs, and their Neuro/Physiological reactions in the Brain, and also sit here as a Recovering Cross Addicted person with Valium/Alcohol Addictions, so I would back up that theory 100% that Valium is Powered Alcohol, my take anyway.
I do indeed know what you are saying about 'addiciton running rampant' in the medical field, in general. I have not really said much to her on the matter, other than, "You know, and I know, that you know what the right thing to do is," regarding this medication stuff. At least LOOK for alternatives... but this disease is unfortunately louder than me and my silly notions of 'being careful'.... at least for today. There is more to the story, but in a general way, I have just needed to process this and get all your wonderful feedbacks for my own clarity and sanity, and I thank you.
One thing is for certain, God puts people and situations in our path as learning tools, and I surely need to be reminded of the dangers as I pursue my own nursing degree. Let's hope I can keep my eyes and ears open, and my heart in tune for myself and my own sobriety.
